Sunday, January 6, 2008

Project Runway's One Hour Hershey Commercial

DAHLINGS –

Isn't it annoying enough that in every episode of Project Runway we have to hear about the "Tresemme Salon," the Bluefly accessories, and Heidi Klum's hideous jewelry?? And then to have this week's challenge to be a one-hour Hershey's Candy commercial! The sheer affrontery! What next, dresses made out of Rubbermaid products? "Designers, make it work", indeed.

As I mentioned in my last, hasty blog-thing, I was relieved to see Elisa Jimenez get auf’d. Yes, yes, she was a character, she had a personality (unlike—who is that blonde person with stuff in her hair—the name escapes me—something feline—never mind). But my dears, spitting on fabric, all of those ludicrous noises, that stoned smile…but worst of all, that dreck, er, dress.



The only thing worse than the front is the back, which unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) was not photographed. Suffice to say it made the front look lovely.

Please bear in mind that I am deeply sympathetic to those who have suffered traumatic brain injury (although it did not escape one’s notice that the show’s writers saw fit not to mention it until this episode, thus insuring maximum manufactured sympathy for the poor thing).

Nevertheless, once again, one imagines the writer’s room:

“If it bleeds, it leads! The crazy babe had her head split open! America’s gonna cry its guts out when she’s auf’d! Even that bitch Heidi will have to act like she cares! Top THAT, Housewives of Orange County!”

One must admit it was a bit of a surprise that Victorya survived this debacle.



Watching the model go down the runway caused your faithful correspondent motion sickness. (One might have thought the model had the traumatic brain injury and was only now learning to walk. Oh, dear, I do hope that’s not an upcoming challenge...)

My darling huggy-bear Chris came through beautifully, obviously he has finally listened to Tim telling him to get his head out of Disneyland and into the retail business. I feel so proud…almost like a mother… although of course I am far too young.



Rami won for this creation, although as others have pointed out, one cannot be not certain whether or not he won because of the dress or because guest judge Zac Posen was drooling over the designer himself.



As for moi, I believe Kevin should have won. Look at this classic style, the craftsmanship, the fit!



Call me old-fashioned, call me a traditionalist, but mon cher amis, this was the only outfit that was wearable. (I believe that before the hapless designers were unleashed in the Hershey store they were told to make a "wearable outfit"? ) By wearable, I mean that a human being could wear it. Outside of a television studio.

Of course, I might sign a different tune if I myself had a corporate sponsor. Feel free to take the hint, Tobelerone. Or Godiva. Or hell, even Nestlé.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Friday, January 4, 2008

Elisa Jimenez Gets Her Just Desserts!

DAHLINGS -

More later, I am simply super-busy preparing for my LIVE appearance on January 17th at the Broadway Comedy Club. But aren't we all delighted that Spitting Earth Goddess got auf'd from this week's Project Runway! Even though I am ever the gracious, forgiving soul, I could not forgive that hideous outfit she put on Tracy!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog

PS For more information about my rare LIVE appearance, please do click on the Three Tomatoes link on your right, and look for "comedy event"! Buy tickets, it's for ever SUCH a good cause!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Ain't Nobody Here But Us Chickens...?

DAHLINGS -

Just when one thinks selling on (ugh) Ebay cannot get any stranger...it does.

For example, I am attempting to winnow my inventory for the New Year. So, I have been selling selected merchandise in lots (that is, for the unintiated, in groups. So they do not feel lonely, don't you know).

One recent lot was four vintage 60s fur hats, two mink, one yarn and marabou, and the fourth one probably lynx. Up it went with my other lots, and like any good auction, immediately had bids.

Until one day--poof. It was gone. It had been pulled.

But here is the cherry on the lollipop:

When I clicked on the reason, it took me to a page about being against Ebay policy to sell live animals.

When an auction is pulled, it disappears, along with the names of your bidders, and the description.

I sat at my desk, baffled.

How, I wondered, had I slipped a live animal into my auction? Had I offered Bucky for sale by accident? Had someone slipped a drug into my coffee while I was listing? Was it simple fatigue? Had I offered vintage minks instead of vintage mink hats?

(There's a disturbing image...ancient, angry minks clutching some poor buyer's head.)

One possible reason it was reported was that one of the hats is made of lynx and cashmere (lower right), and there was the vaguest possibility that it was Canadian lynx. It is the same amount of possibility that Santa Claus really exists, but still, one never knows.

So, after a bit of fuming I did the sensible thing and relisted the auction. On Specialist Auctions, where they treat sellers very nicely.

SOLD!

Please do have a look, and if you feel so inclined, have a haggle, as they say.

This time I made certain that the listing contained the word "hats." In the meantime, rest assured that nothing I have up on Ebay has fur on it, and Bucky the Wonderdog is definitely NOT for sale!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog
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