DAHLINGS, I AM RETURNING TO THE STAGE!

DAHLINGS -

Rejoice! Let joy be unconfined! "Diary Of A Mad Fashionista" is coming to the Off-Off-Broadway stage, starring (of course) your faithful correspondent. After my stellar performance at the Broadway Comedy Club, it was fait accompli.

I know you're sitting bolt upright at your desk or cubicle or in Starbucks, yelling, "Tell me more!" aloud. (In fact, I just heard it coming from a limousine parked on the street below.)

"Diary Of A Mad Fashionista" opens on February 27, 2008 at the Red Room Theater, on East 4th Street in New York's ever-so-trendy East Village. The show is part of the Second Annual Frigid Festival. It is being directed by Aaron Haber, and costars Shannon Sutherland, playing a variety of roles. Bucky the Wonderdog unfortunately does not have an Equity card, so he will have to be played by a substitute. (Also, I would rather not risk having any audience members bitten.) Tickets are an amazingly reasonable $12.00. I tried to talk the producers of the Frigid Festival to raise the ticket price to $100, but they refused to listen. Something about the arts being accessible to everyone or some poppycock like that.

Of course I shall be writing more about this truly ASTOUNDING opportunity to see me live and in the creamy flesh, but for now you can go to this link:

www.frigidfest.com

And click on "2008 Performances". Look for the lovely pink logo indicating MY SHOW!



Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Hail Victorya! She Has Been Auf'd!

DAHLINGS -

Everyone at my viewing party was delighted to see that frozen-faced egomaniac Victorya get auf’d this week! I have never seen a beauty editor of Elle give anyone a high-five before! (Must have been the dirty martinis.) It was quite clear who was the true inspiration behind that fabulous coat the week before--Jillian. And my darling Chris is still in!

A few weeks ago I invented a drinking game—we all have a drink whenever Ricky cries. Some of my guests have to be helped home after the program!

This week, his breakdown on the runway obviously baffled Heidi. Since she is a cyborg, human emotion does not register. One could see the LCD display behind her eyes, “Does Not Compute. Error Message.” So she asked, “What’s up wichoo?”

When Ricky replied it was an emotional rollercoaster, I thought of Chris in the workroom snapping, “Get used to it!” Or at least I think that is what he said. I’d had quite a few dirty martinis before the show.

I quite agree with Tim’s Take: why Ricky’s dress? It was a tube dress, and not that well-fitting. But to be truthful, nothing stood out for moi. Your faithful correspondent never wears blue jeans (the denim would chafe so!), and the “skinny jeans” Christian came up with, although clever, would be disastrous for any woman with real legs.

A confession: my favorite part of the show are the scenes in the apartments, especially the men. Seeing Chris sitting around like a bitchy Buddha and the others trading gossip in the wee hours is the most "real" part of this particular reality show.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

TRIUMPH ON BROADWAY!

DAHLINGS -

Raise a glass of champagne! My appearance on Thursday night at the The Three Tomatoes first event in 2008 was a complete, unqualified success (how could it be otherwise?)!

There were more wealthy older women than at a Florida real estate seminar, all dressed to the nines, but none more so than moi. Never the one to be predictable, I changed my gown every time I went onstage, each time dazzling the audience just a bit more. (Especially when I fell out of one of my gowns for a few minutes and gave the audience a good look at my rosy pink buds. Later I mentioned that the last time I'd gone topless onstage, I had been a great deal younger, and there had been a pole and a bucket of water involved.) First a blue spangled long gown with satin straps, then a plunging neckline dark red dress (which I fell out of), and the piece de resistance, a sapphire velvet gown designed especially for moi by Donatella Versace (before she sobered up) with a blue satin bustle and a huge rhinestone breastplate.

Chris March would have ADORED it!

My assistant, for once a competent young woman named Sumanah, kept an eagle eye on the table where the pretties were located, and we did a brisk business, especially in vintage costume jewelry.

My dears, selling live is so labor intensive, I don't know when I will have the strength to do it again!

The Three Tomatoes were out in force (especially Cheryl Benton, the Top Tomato), the founder of Comedy Cures (Saranne Rothberg) and the producer, media personality Valerie Smaldone--who is simply beautiful in person. Any television station worth its salt would snap her up in an instant!



She is wasted on radio, let me tell you. And two very funny female comedians, Laurie Kilmartin and Leighann Lord, both of whom have worked extensively in television.



Best of all, my dear, dear friend Emme the supermodel and clothing designer, happened to be in the audience, looking astonishingly gorgeous in a red minidress! She even helped pin me into my Versace gown, since the back was slipping a bit.

I wait impatiently for photos of the event...God knows the paparazzi was swarming, and every time I turned around I was having to smile for the flashbulbs. The event was ever so enjoyable, although I was so busy all evening it's a bit of a blur.

But that could be the free champagne. One never knows.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog