Monday, October 30, 2006

Give Me Your Poor, Your Tired, Your Unfashionable

Dahlings -

I have reason to celebrate tonight! Break out the Krug!

That marvelous Bill Gates, when he was throwing all of his money at charity, happened to hit a foundation that has made a deal with moi to sell them vintage clothing. The purpose: to introduce the great unwashed to the great couturiers. The program is called "Haute Cou-poor." Isn't that simply cunning? (I thought of it, of course, mostly because so little goes with "indigent.")

We shall have classes at the Fashion Institute of Technology (Parsons School of Design turned me down FLAT because of my remarks about Project Runway--petty, petty, petty!). Some of the proposed class titles are:

Why Foundation Garments Are Vital To History, or: Would Marie Antoinette Have Been Such A Fool If She Didn't Have To Wear A Corset?

Stylish Is Better Than Stylin'

When Too Much Is Simply Too Much - The Aesthetics of Bling

A History of Fashion In Pictures (with flashcards for students to study)

How To Pronounce Poiret, Vionnet, and Schiaparelli

The Little Black Dress - Why?*

How To Talk Down To Salespeople And Employees - An Invaluable Skill

The students shall be as putty in my beautifully manicured hands. No, of course I am not going to do any of the actual teaching! I'm far too busy being fabulous to soil myself by hard labor. Interns will be hired from FIT, with a tiny stipend (I deserve most of the money, seeing that I am not only designing the courses, but also selling--er, providing--many of the finer examples of couture to be used as examples.) I have always wanted to feel that I was giving something back.

As long as it didn't take too much effort.

My prayers have been answered!

Off to pour some Krug into Bucky's Waterford crystal water dish,

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

* I think at least one philosophy class should be included, don't you agree?

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