Showing posts with label Dolly Parton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dolly Parton. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Tony Awards Worst Dressed 2009

DAHLINGS -

The Tony Awards broadcast was truly a delightful program, as I wrote previously, but now it is time to nominate the most egregious Crimes Against Fashion committed on Sunday.

First, the woman I am certain will make all of the Worst Dressed Lists, the incomparable (and truly frightening) Dolly Parton:


I ask you, what is that draped mini-skirted horror? This is truly a woman I never want to see with her clothing off. The mind boggles.

Movie and stage star Laura Linney chose a fussy gown that did her no favors, either in the figure or the coloring department. Somehow she looks like a giant bottle of Almay liquid foundation in "Pale":


Edie Falco obviously had no time to get a dress, so she threw on this rumpled bedspread:


Neon orange does not become Sutton Foster. Although I doubt it would become anybody who wasn't a teenager in a club in a bad neighborhood:


Speaking of orange, poor Marisa Tomei, who usually does so well, made a wrong turn when she chose this Isaac Mizrahi dress, which washes out her coloring. And what is that black tulle thing vomiting out of the back? (And speaking of Isaac Mizrahi, it reminds one of something one of the lesser designers on the "The Fashion Show" would present.


Fortunately, the Tony Awards are a less dramatic affair, fashion-wise, than other awards shows. Perhaps other writers are disappointed, but yours truly was grateful for the overwhelming display of good taste.

As for other just-plain-wrong moments on the show, the one that stands out for me is the utter bastardization of "Sit Down, You're Rocking The Boat" from Guys and Dolls. Whoever thought of the alternate ending of that number should be beaten to a bloody pulp. I write that with the utmost respect, of course.


Legally Blonde was the closest thing to a musical vacuum as I have seen since I accidentally blundered into a Miley Cyrus album release party. (I was looking for a fashion awards party and went to the club down the street--I still shudder at the memory.)

More later!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Shut Up, Dolly Parton: Leave Jessica Simpson ALONE!

DAHLINGS -

Sorry to digress from the all-important Fashion Week Fall 2009, but I simply had to vent my deep aggravation over the scalpel's best friend (after Joan Rivers), Dolly Parton, "defending" Jessica Simpson for looking beautiful and curvaceous!

On Larry King Live, Ms. Parton said, "I've been fat and I've been skinny, and I'm not about to say anything about somebody else's weight, because I know how hard it is when you gain five or six pounds."

FIVE OR SIX POUNDS? FIVE OR SIX POUNDS? ARE WE LIVING IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE?



Of course, being under the Bryant Park tents is being in a parallel universe, what with the paramedics standing by with crash carts filled with Ensure, Glucerna and meth to keep the models going. Your faithful correspondent thinks she got a paper cut on her upper arm when brushing past Coco Rocha (watch out for those shoulder blades!), and it stings, which only adds to my mood.

Now, hear this, media morons:

Jessica Simpson looks beautiful. Jessica Simpson looks healthy. Jessica Simpson looks sexy.


photo by Dlisted

Repeat this mantra until you find something more interesting to cover. And yes, I know she is wearing a "skort," but frankly, my dears, I don't give a damn.

As amazingly talented and wonderful as she is, Dolly Parton has not resembled a real human being since the 1980s.


Photo: Reuters

With that I must dash--time to start pushing into the Herve' Leger by Max Azria show.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...