Crimes Against Fashion At The "Superheroes" Gala!

Dahlings –

As I wrote in my last entry, the annual gala for the Metropolitan Museum’s Costume Institute happened the other night. The theme was “Superheroes”, those mythic comic book heroes and heroines in leotards and capes, among other strange fetishistic clothing.

Today I am going to concentrate on the Crimes Against Fashion that were sprinkled liberally throughout the crowd! If only there was a style Super Heroine!

I’d take on the job, but a) I am far too busy b) I do not care for physical exertion c) it would muss my golden locks.

First, we have the usual hideously gaunt model (one of many). I seem to recall that during dinner in the Temple of Dendur she passed out face-down in her plate. She was later to be heard bringing up what was left of her supper in the ladies' room by one of my informants.



Next, we have Steven Newhouse and Gina Sanders. She is dressed as a Hostess Pink Coconut Cupcake, and indeed, her dress was quite sticky and could be used as a weapon!



Amanda Brooks looks quite stunned to be caught in the muslin mock-up of her gown—Marni had PROMISED to have it ready!



Marni pulled the same stunt on these two young ladies. They look ready to pull a heist at Bergdorf’s by hypnotizing the clerks with those horrendous frocks, don’t you think?



This couple in Burberry are pulling the classic Super-Villain and Hero’s Girl pose: “One step closer, Spiderman, and she’s toast!” (Note that the girl really does look quite terrified. Makes one ponder the nature of the relationship, hmmm?)



Linda Carter looks astonishingly like an old Batman television show villainess, who patterns herself after a bordello owner in the Old West. Perhaps The Murderous Madam?



Fortunately, my dear, dear friend Andre Leon Talley appeared with one of the Williams sisters. Andre’s spectacular red cape was from Chanel, of course. Here he strikes the classic Superman pose, shielding Lois from fire/explosions/falling buildings/Lex Luthor by covering her with his indestructible cape!



Redeeming the whole evening, in your faithful correspondent’s opinion, were the effortlessly stylish David Bowie and his wife, the gorgeous Iman. "We Can Be Heroes," indeed! Proof that style is truly ageless, and I am sure that Anna Wintour would agree!



It almost made up for the Olsen Twins…I haven’t the heart to post a photo of them.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog

Dead Fashion Models: A Modest Suggestion

DAHLINGS -

I was reading in the newspaper over the past weeks that those poor anorexic girls are dropping like flies down in Brazil. Brazil, mind, where they used to CELEBRATE the lushness of the female figure! How has society come to this? One of those hideous Olsen twins was quoted this morning as saying that it was her bad hair dye that made her look too thin. Yes, sweetie, and it was having two faces that made that calf look slightly odd. All in the eye of the beholder, don't you know.

Rather than encouraging girls to waste away and die, we should keep the dead ones, and use them. Why keep asking these poor children to starve themselves to death, when we have plenty of deceased models around?

I am fairly certain most of them come from deprived backgrounds, so the families would be happy to be saved funeral and burial costs.

Here is my plan, which is not only practical but could save dozens of young lives in the future:
1) Take one dead young female fashion model;
2) Freeze-dry her, the way people freeze-dry their dead pets, preferably in an attitude of disdain and one arm bent;
3) Lacquer the body, because it might smell under hot lights;
4) Make a runway with a sort of rolling thing, you know, like those sushi restaurants where you grab the little trays off of the rotating circle thing;

And voila!

An entire fashion show of unliving fashion models, just the way the designers want them. Gaunt, bereft of female flesh, and of course, expressionless. If the designer wants the illusion of living, he can paint the faces in gaudy colors and use a wind machine.

Or--

Fashion designers and the fashion industry in general could promote a healthy ideal of female beauty, one that celebrates fleshiness, the slight rounding of the female stomach, a plump elbow, perhaps even the unthinkable...breasts, hips, and thighs. Girls who look like young WOMEN, not starvation victims. Girls who feel GOOD about their bodies, no matter what the shape, no matter what the size, because wherever they look they can find a role model.

I admit, I do not see it happening in my lifetime. But it is something to dream about...

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog