DAHLINGS –
So, the second episode of
The Fashion Show has been inflicted on the American public. Your faithful correspondent was
not impressed. At least they have toned down
“Evil Isaac” to
“Nasty Isaac.”After being told last week by
“Evil Isaac” that she had no business being in fashion, a weeping
Kristin quit the show. So now we won’t have to look at that annoying hair anymore.
As before,
Kelly Rowland still has absolutely
nothing of value to say during the judging. Thank God for
Fern Mallis, or I couldn’t sit through this idiocy. And the ending catchphrase from
NI: “We’re not buying it. Bye, darling.” Somehow one doubts that will be on everyone’s lips. With
Project Runway, fans said that the designers had been "auf'd." Saying a designer has been "bye'd" lacks the same
zing, don't you think?
The mini-challenges aren't worth commenting about, other than they take even more time away from the workroom.
AND they have
30 second segments of the
actual show? Not teasers, but segments? Thank goodness for fast forward.
And how
pathetic is it that the
only visible sponsor is
Tresemme? When they showed the fabric store, it certainly wasn’t
Mood (which your faithful correspondent has visited many times), in fact, they could not show the name on the bags! And the winner gets…
A fashion show on the runway set. In the basement of whatever building that is.
Combien peuvent-ils faire de plus faible des enjeux, chers lecteurs?
I never thought I would write this, but I miss
Heidi Klum.
Well, most of the time.
This past week’s challenge was to design for…
Tinsley Mortimer. Ms. Mortimer is a “socialite”, and she and her husband
Topper (in this picture she told him to look at the camera, but this is the best the poor thing could do) are from that elite group that intermarries. Rather like Appalachians, but with far more money.
This is a woman so without personality that a planned reality show about her life was scrapped earlier this year. Do you realize how
dull a celebrity has to be to have a reality show about you not even make it to
air? (I know this fact because I have my connections.)
“My hair is my trademark,” she claimed about her bleached tinder-dry long bob with bangs. The bangs at least obscured the ridiculous amount of eye makeup she was wearing. Each designer was given $40 to create their outfits. As the young people say,
WTF?The designers were kept in teams, which is meant to promote conflict as these various social misfits clash with each other.
Merlin’s flamboyance is starting to grow on me, and I suspect the producers will keep him until he makes something so unforgiveable that it actually catches fire on the runway and burns the poor model to death.
Reco looks exactly
Jimmy Walker on
“Good Times.” One keeps waiting for him to shout “Dy-no-
MITE!” I liked his design, if not the clashing colors. (That background designing for strippers is hard to shake off.)
During the 14 hours the designers had to create their pieces,
Nasty Isaac and
Useless Kelly visited the workroom several times. Determined to be as unlike
Tim Gunn as possible, instead of giving constructive criticism and encouragement,
Nasty Isaac tears down each design. Or if he can't think of anything sufficiently vicious to say to the designer, he simply sprinkles some bad karma around. Each time the hosts leave, the designers are
visibly more dispirited. WHAT is going on?
Are they going to start
waterboarding the designers as we get closer to the
Final Four?Laura was
determined to put red tulle on a badly designed dress, despite the efforts of her team to talk her out of it. And the back! Dear God, the back!
During the final judging, an awful lot time is taken up with of groups of people getting up, sitting down, getting up, sitting down. I was starting to nod off from boredom, so I’m not certain why.
Bucky was sleeping in my lap, so he was of no help.
Suffice to say that
Daniella won for a cute jumpsuit with a transparent bomber jacket, nothing special except for a floppy blue bow that was completely out of place. Ms. Mortimer, the fourth judge, would “totally wear it.”
The loser was going to be either
Laura and
Johnny R., whose dress not only promised to malfunction on the runway (thank goodness models barely have breasts), but was put together with
safety pins. When criticized,
Johnny R. and
Isaac had a bitch-slapping contest.
Not smart,
Johnny dahling.
Isaac is the
host, you fool. Obvious to us, perhaps, but not to
Top-Knot Guy. (Unfortunately for
moi, the nickname
Samurai Guy is already taken.)
Backstage,
Isaac pretended to be foaming-at-the-mouth furious while
Kelly pretended to restrain him. The choice was between “bad attitude and bad dress.” I’m sure after consultation with the producers, they went for bad dress.
Quel mauvais. Top-Knot Guy is more telegenic, and I’m sure we can look forward to more outbursts in the future.
Or you can look forward to it. I might wait for the
real thing to come along later in the season, on
Lifetime.
Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog
