Chris March's Big Gay Book Party!

DAHLINGS -

Last night was SUCH fun! The Greenhouse on Varick Street was simply packed with a crush of hangers-on, friends of Chris March, admirers, and drag queens. Tragically, my camera battery was dying. This was early in the evening, before the more, er, interesting guests arrived.

As promised, I was wearing the World's Ugliest Dress. It was obviously made by some hippie crochet-maniac on acid back in the day, with a badly attached maroon velvet skirt.

It's not just that the top encircles the bodice like a huge crocheted sausage, but you cannot see the fringed racer back in any of the photos. It was a found object, as I decided to call myself Lady Dada. No hat or jewelry could compete, so I kept it simple with a purple feather fascinator and lace-up leather boots, for that psychedelic saloon girl look.

Early in the evening I met two admirers, Flan and Sahid.

Don't you just love how unflattering the flash camera can be?

We were highly amused by the sight of men putting tiny pieces of duct tape on the wall lights. "It has to be the best duct tape," Flan observed. (Chris can be observed all the way in the back, in the corner. He did not move for the three hours I was there.)


Chris March could not have been more gracious. For a long time I sat next to him up in the VIP section, and watched as he was bombarded by fans, many of them in outfits and makeup that must have taken most of the day to put together. "I met you ten years ago...it was just for a hot minute!" one woman brayed. "Oh, yes, I remember you," Chris lied.

The rest of the evening is a bit of a blur, particularly because I hit the dance floor! One stocky Asian gentleman spun me in circles for a very long time. Another lovely man took me downstairs to the private room where the boogieing continued.

But when the strobe lights started, that was my cue to return to my beautiful (featured in Architectural Digest) apartment. I simply cannot bear strobes in any way, shape or form.

So that is my report of the night. Saturday night I was in attendance at a book signing for Vintage Fashion Accessories by Stacy LoAlbo, because of course I had written the forward. It was held at the MH Art & Framing Gallery on 9 West 20th St, the better to showcase the gorgeous photography. Not only did I meet one of the superbly talented photographers, Jimmy Lin, but also a woman who calls herself the Idiosyncratic Fashionista. And believe me, she was, and I mean that in the most flattering way possible.

And now it's Monday, and I still haven't done my SAG Awards Best and Worst Dressed List! A working woman's job is never done, even with a staff.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Project Runway - Drag Queens and Chris March, Oh, My!

DAHLINGS –

How many of you, mon bien-aimé lecteurs, feel that last Wednesday’s Project Runway was one of the Best Challenges in the history of the program? And with THIS sorry lot of designers, no less!

Your faithful correspondent absolutely squealed with delight when her much loved huggy-bear, Chris March, came out, dazzling as ever, as Brunhilde to announce the challenge: dressing drag queens. And I don’t squeal easily.

(At least in this episode, Heidi the Hun did not even attempt to outshine the contestants—it seems that she learned from the Women’s Wrestling challenge last season.)

Heterosexual plus-sized females (such as myself) can learn so much from drag queens. Such as how to move a large body for maximum femininity, how to hold your head high when the rest of the world thinks that you should fit the norm, and how to be fabulous at all times (at least whenever you leave the house!) And many of us do not have to worry about five o’clock shadow.

The single most “barfalicious” moment in the episode (to quote Leanne, who bears a strange resemblance to a mourning beagle), was Suede’s talking about daydreaming about his dead grandfather.

I think he is hallucinating from lack of sleep. Or perhaps the hair dye from that blue scrub-brush on his head is infiltrating his brain. Mais sérieusement, dead grandfather? Urging Sludge—er, Suede—to sprinkle seeds on Hedda Lettuce’s outfit?

Hedda was rightfully unhappy with the extremely unflattering results, and made a few changes of her own before taking the look to the runway. Don’t you KNOW that you do not cut a long glove to hit the single widest part of a person’s arm? When I watched the runway, I wondered if Hedda herself had altered the gloves. (Later I learned that indeed she had cut them; from experience, I know that rolling long gloves can create an unsightly bulge at the elbow if you have any flab there at all.) The outfit would have made the bottom three if Hedda hadn’t put all of her considerable skills to work on the runway!



Joe was the surprise of the episode. It took him a bit of time to grasp the concept, but perhaps he has a drag queen just waiting to be released! Here we see him discovering how the other half lives:



He designed the perfect outfit for the ever-delicious Varla Jean Merman, giving her an Ann-Margret look that was the rightful winner!


Terri, who has costumed drag queens, understood their aesthetic, and did an amazing job with Acid Betty, but my viewing party felt it was not true drag. Just what it was, we could not reach a consensus. Still, well done, Terri!

In the workroom, Blayne was still using that lame “licious” catchphrase, including “neonlicious.” (Hence Leanne’s “barfalicious” comment above.) Tim’s line about his costume looking like a gay pterodactryl could not be topped, so I will not try. As usual, none of the designers listened to anything Tim Gunn had to say. What is the MATTER with these twerps? One wonders if Tim goes outside onto the fire escape and screams afterward.



But dream of dreams, having dearest CHRIS MARCH critiquing the costumes in the workroom! Project Runway heaven!


He was deeply underwhelmed with Keith’s design, as who wouldn’t have been? More scraps of fabric…the man has a scrap fetish. I wonder if he sneaks around MOOD after closing hours and picks up stray bits of fabric in the night. His client, Sherry Vine, was obviously VERY unhappy on the runway.



As would anyone who was not on very powerful hallucenogens.

This week’s judge was Rupaul, who looked oddly messy and toned down. I’m not sure what look she was going for…administrative assistant who spent the night in bed with her boss, got up and forgot to comb her hair? Rupaul, we barely knew ye. Where, oh, where was the GLAMOUR that is your signature more than any others? However, unlike pitiful Sandra Bernhard, he had some excellent critiques. (One glaring exception: Keith’s dress.)



The winner was Joe, and there were shrieks of delight! Varla worked it as only she can. Absolutely drag perfection and it fits her fun, feminine personality in every way.

The loser, AT LAST, was Daniel. He designed—yes—a cocktail dress for Annika Greenkard, who bears rather an unnerving resemblance to a six-foot-tall drag Bernadette Peters. He declared that sequins would make him “throw up.” Now he can take his much-vaunted “taste level” to somewhere it will fit right in—Wal-Mart.



Although I did feel sorry for the dear boy during his exit interview, but he was probably just too young to be there.

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog