Off For The Weekend, Dahlings!!

DAHLINGS -

Thank GOD for Memorial Day Weekend. I'm fleeing New York and all of the Ebay hazurai (a Jewish friend used that word and it seemed to sum up exactly what's happening, however, I haven't the faintest clue how to spell it). Off to my beautiful oceanfront mansion in the Hamptons (featured in Architectural Digest)!

There, I and many other rich and famous people shall mingle, laugh, drink and forget our troubles. Bucky the Wonderdog will be able to frolic freely with his peers. Although his tendency to attack without warning has caused some over-sensitive dog owners to clutch their wee ones to their chests and run when they see us coming. At least I assume it's because of Bucky...

I've assembled a simply fabulous wardrobe for the weekend, lots of big flowered Italian straw hats to ward off the sun and plenty of sunblock. Must keep my creamy skin milk-white, you know, it's good for business. Maxi dresses will be the building block of choice...I simply detest wide-leg jeans! My maxi-dresses will be vintage, however, not knockoffs from Target. Bohemian soul that I am at heart, most of my time will be spent barefoot.

That reminds me...must tell my assistant to book a pedicure, STAT!

My guests are the Creme de Mer of the fashion industry, naturally, I name no names. But as been written here before, until you have seen Andre Leon Talley with a champagne bucket upside-down on his head, you have not lived.

The staff has been working night and day getting the mansion ready. I know, because I have Hide-A-Cams all over the place. Idle hands and all that, you know. My assistant started to weep when I told her to cancel her plans and come with me, stupid thing. What on earth is so special about Pittsburgh?

Until next week, dahlings, have a wonderful weekend, drive safely, and remember, hot pants do not look good on anyone!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Out in the Hamptons With The Ultra-Fashionable

DAHLINGS -

Bucky and I are happily esconsced in my exquisite (featured in Architectural Digest) oceanfront mansion. I was reading the Easthampton Star, but I find myself gazing out at the Atlantic Ocean as the sun gleams upon the whitecaps. I have a large contingent of guests here, some of the most famous names in the fashion community. However, they have asked me not to reveal their whereabouts for fear of being swarmed by the paparazzi when they go to the local market. Especially the little stout man who likes to start his day with a six-pack of Budweiser. He has to buy it himself every day because I refuse to put such a common brand on my shopping list!

Each guest tries to outdo the others in fashionable beachwear...quite amusing when one female guest wore one of those stylish outdoor oversized straw hats to the breakfast table. The brim dipped into the Eggs Benedict and we had such a laugh!

As hostess, my only rules are:

• You are not allowed to be boring
• No thong-style bathing suits, no matter how much work you have had done on your buttocks
• Do not try to pick up Bucky and give him a kiss; he looks cute but he will rip your nose off*
• You are NOT allowed to try on my fabulous wardrobe, even if you are male

I believe that is rather liberal of me, don't you? Particularly among people in the fashion industry, who can come to blows over the exact meaning of "bubble dress."

Speaking of which, two of my guests are arguing who is less relevant, Paris Hilton or Lindsey Lohan. That comes under the subject of boring. Excuse me.

Ciao,
Elisa and Bucky the Wonderdog

* My guests have to sign a waiver to that effect.