People's Choice Award: The Worst Dressed

DAHLINGS -

As I mentioned in my previous post, my choices for Best and Worst were hampered by the sameness of the dresses, particularly the plethora of one-shouldered gowns. However, your faithful correspondent will not let her readers down. Here, in no particular order, are my Worst Dressed.

THE WORST DRESS OF THE NIGHT

One star's outfit leapt out at me. It is amazing that Carrie Underwood managed to find a dress made entirely of chicken wire:



"OUCH, y'all."

And that strange bustle-thing; did it hurt to sit on? I only hope she wasn't badly scratched by evening's end.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, FEED ME A SANDWICH!

There was the usual swarm of hideously gaunt actresses, their fleshless arms and legs exposed by teeny frocks.

First, we have Taylor Swift (who apparently plays major league basketball in her spare time, minus the steroids):

Jessica Alba looks as though nothing but vitamin water has passed her lips for the past six months. This dress was criticized on another site for making Ms. Alba's hips look big...er, big, if you're a praying mantis.

Diane Kruger is disturbing in Herve Leger:

Even a sorry attempt at pouf doesn't make Dana Ramirez look any more female:

SPECIAL NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD AWARD

...goes to Nicole Kidman. Her pallor, skeletal appearance and immobile face (not to mention the flat, lustreless hair) suggest that she died last week, but was specially resurrected to attend this ceremony. I do hope they sprayed her with a great deal of Chanel #5 to conceal the odor of decay.

"I need brains. Braaaains..."

FOLIE AUX DRESS

Whoever this young woman is, she may consider firing her stylist. The oversized, draped top is trying to be 80s and, unfortunately, succeeding. And pumpkin orange is not the new black.

One supposes we should be celebrating Hayley Williams's individuality, for her dress is neither one-shouldered nor draped. However it looks as though she is being attacked by a swarm of huge moths. Her stylist also might have suggested that orange is not the new black when it comes to hair, either.

"This is tasty wool!"

This couple looks as glum as their outfits:

She: "Are we having fun yet?"

He: "No."

Finally, we have Sandra Bullock. Not only is her dress a color that washes her out, it is strangely constructed. It rather looks like the fabric was thrown at her and then basted where it landed. Fortunately, her recent box office successes have made Ms. Bullock able to afford a staggering amount of plastic surgery, leaving her face a waxen mask.

As I wrote before, this is my list, and feel free to leave your comments. But bear in mind that I am always right.

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

People's Choice Awards: The Best Dressed

DAHLINGS -

Before I start my list, I must say how thrilled I am that at last night's The People's Choice Awards:
1) House MD won as Best Dramatic Television Show
2) Hugh Laurie won as People's Choice Dramatic Actor!



However, I cannot put the star on my Best Dressed list because of that tie. Showing that James Wilson has not yet cornered the market on ugly ties. It was also delightful to see him with his real hair, without a hairpiece or whatever it is they put on his head and less beard.

The program itself was hellish to sit through. Approximately three minutes of programming, then eight minutes of commercials, then several minutes of a "special advance preview" of either an awful movie or an awful television show. If one cannot make a project look good in two minutes, one is in trouble. That's all I can say. The nadir was a CVS commercial used as actual programming. I have blocked the details from my mind. Onto the important part: the dresses.

The list for this event is a bit more difficult than my usual. So many of the stars, no matter what their wattage, wore one-shouldered dresses. Most of them were draped, Grecian style, but there was no shortage of other variations.

I must begin my list with the Host of The People's Choice Awards, the divine Queen Latifah. Her black one-shouldered entrance gown, with its evocation of 1950s movie star glamor, was perfection, as were the chorus boys helping her maneuver down that ill-conceived ramp stage left.



Another dream dress was a white strapless Georges Chakra gown with metallic trim around the waistline:



Next, the only reality show host I enjoy who's not on Project Runway, Clean House's Niecy Nash, showed off her stunning figure in a hot pink Grecian dress ( I told you one-shouldered dresses were all over the place last night). One had to restrain oneself from writing "my homegirl" because one has a smidgen of propriety.)



Lisa Edelstein, also of House, always makes my Best-Dressed List. She simply cannot look other than ravishing, although this David Meister gown is not one of my absolute favorites. But Ms. Edelstein gets points for covering both shoulders.



Speaking of House...I must betray my own values, my deepest feelings, and almost everything I have written about her in this blog...but...

Olivia Wilde made my list. Apologies, dear readers, but AT LAST Ms. Wilde wore a Monique Lhuillier dress that was flattering, rather than one of those awful skin-tight gowns that showed her jagged hipbones. Again, like the Queen, a fluffy dress, evocative of the 1950s:



Taraji P. Henson, voluptuous as always, struts her wares in this lovely (albeit yet another one-shoulder Grecian style) Alberta Ferreti lilac gown:



Despite a near-wardrobe malfunction during her acceptance speech, Mariah Carey showed off her womanly shape in a white halter gown:



Finally, the sublime Mary J. Blige. Yes, she is in a one-shouldered draped Grecian dress, but the shorter length, shoulder embellishment, perfect fit and soft gray color make the look:



Feel free to comment upon my choices, but bear in mind, I am always right.

Worst Dressed coming up!

Ciao, Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog