Dahlings –
Deepest apologies, once again, for taking so long to get back to you, but I was whisked to fabulous
PALM BEACH by a
famous male celebrity for an early
Christmas celebration. We stayed at the historic
Breakers, but barely saw the sun, if you know what I mean.
SUCH a divine change from frigid, dark Manhattan! But now I am back to the workaday world, and that means YOU.
Last week's episode, which I had Tivo'd, was by FAR the best episode of
Project Runway so far this season. I know, that is not saying much. This season has been a yawn, except for
Ricky’s crying and the strange close-ups of
Donna Karan’s face on the previous episode. (I expect to see it on the site
Awful Plastic Surgery. Her face looked like a strangely smooth potato.)
Here's an idea: having a drink every time
Ricky cries would make a wonderful drinking game with your friends during
Project Runway viewing parties.
I applaud the women for losing weight (although I am
in favor of plus sizes). And it was certainly refreshing to see
real women on the runway instead of those
awful amateur models clumping awkwardly up and down.
While I was sorry to see
Jack leave, my darling adorable cuddly
CHRIS MARCH is back! One must confess, tears came to my eyes when they read the note he left in the workroom. Tears also came to my eyes when I saw his outfit…can’t he
GET it about the costume problem? But they
let him stay, that is the important part.
Elisa should be have been
smacked into next week for that
HIDEOUS outfit! You could not have more
masterfully designed a dress made to look a heavy woman look
stumpier, lumpier and wider than
Tracy actually is! A big belt on a thick waist, an 80s style jacket with short sleeves, all the proportions
disastrous! Bad enough
Spitting Earth Goddess probably had saliva dripping all
over that costume, but then to put BOOTS on her client's lovely slim legs,
Tracy's best asset, for the finishing touch! One fantasizes that
Elisa was
“auf’d” and then a gang of heavy female bikers beat her up in the alley outside of
Parsons.
Victorya (I
cannot write that name without hearing the old
Kinks song) designed a dress that was almost as boring as Steven’s. Working with green velvet on a handsome redhead, she might have come up with something a little less…sleep-inducing. I am still having fits of narcolepsy. I did notice what short shrift the less dramatic and well-made designs got, whipping by within seconds.
But
Steven…what a
catastrophic disappointment. When
Tim Gunn questioned him in the fabric store about buying miles of
BLACK stretch fabric, I knew
Mr. Dimples's doom was sealed. Yes, the wedding dress was an
atrocity, but one goes with the flow in that case!
Mesh! Pearls! Lace! 
Imagine what
CHRIS would have done with it—or even little
Hairthing! Actually, I would have
loved to see what
Hairthing would have done with it. How would he have made one of his exactly alike tailored little jackets with it? Boggles the imagination, doesn't it?
Not to begrudge
Christian's win, I felt
Kevin should have won for that super-sexy bustier.
Contrary to popular opinion, real women over the age of twenty look
marvelous in strapless things, and
Elyse, his client, worked it. She looked so divinely happy as she came down the runway! As did
Rami’s client (who was on for about a nanosecond). Could someone tell me what on earth was going on with
Heidi Klum's bangs? Did they keep tangling with her false eyelashes? And what was that white powder on her calf during the judging? Could she have spilled her cocaine prior to filming?
Besides the return of
Chris, my favorite moment was
Tim Gunn's confession that he'd made more bad decisions at 3 in the morning than he could list! Like Steven, I wanted names!
As for Jack, he seems to be quite all right, as this hilarious video that he posted to YouTube proves:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=evCOdcJl2PEWho knew the man could dance? And what a body!
Now I've discovered that the show is on hiatus until January 2nd, the slackers.
Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog
