Fashion Week, S/S 2012 Days Two and Three

DAHLINGS -


An article in the past week’s New York Times by the estimable Cathy Horyn spoke of Fashion Week’s “Split Personality.” The real excitement is apparently downtown, where the young and tragically hip mix together. Uptown is far more staid, conventional, and...


Frankly, boring.


With its new, shiny, computerized approach, Lincoln Center may well have become a far less interesting mass-market version of an exclusive French dressmaker's salon. (If that last sentence made sense to you, 15 points.)

For example, a photographer I know, Mohammed Kasim, cannot get into the tents any more. Season after season we found each other in the tents. Kasim likes to photograph the wanna-bes prowling the outer tent, every shimmer and spangle on their outfits screaming LOOK AT ME. However, neither the wanna-bes nor Kasim are allowed in. Not even strange little Painted Suit man was to be seen. A woman who went to great lengths to be mistaken for Lady Gaga never made it inside, either. Daily she was to be seen in one hideously elaborate outfit or another, but her tiny button nose gave away the game. No matter, dozens of tourists snapped her photo.

As for the fashion? Much of it was mundane. The Luca Luca show offered pretty colors, prints and soft fabrics. And not much else. (One knows a show is in trouble when the thing you lust after is the shoes. Mon Dieu, the shoes!) Honestly, how does one review a show when that’s all there is to say? It was pretty. Some of it might feel nice. End of story. The models were all, as usual, appallingly thin. So much so that their lack of thigh fat made them look bowlegged.























One is certain that the models would have vomited up the tiny 4 oz. cups of free "kefir" if they'd tried to eat them. And not because the product was that bad.

Nicole Miller’s collection, well.



The intarsia knit prints were loud. And I despised them. But maybe I am not their target demographic. Apparently the designer was inspired by the speed of a skateboard “shredding the air.” If there is a woman out there who has a fervent desire to dress as an elderly skateboarder, this collection is for you.













Vivienne Tam’s show was also a parade of pretty, soft fabrics and soft, wearable dresses. She has a weakness for orchids, and the design of the petals was embroidered, cut out, or detailed on skirts and the front of dresses. I enjoyed it by far the most, and I’m sure they will do well in the stores. But…

Perhaps I am too much of a classicist. But if I am, why did so many of the shows leave me with such a feeling of ennui?

Coming up: the Emmy's Best and Worst Dressed, Plus Size Model Magazine's Special Blogger Event, and more Fashion Week!

Ciao,

Elisa

No MTV Best-Dressed or Worst-Dressed Awards

DAHLINGS -

Yes, one combed through the multitudes of photographs of various celebrities, hoping for either a sublime dress or a ridiculous outfit. But, the only word for the dresses, jumpsuits and other garb at the MTV Awards is...

Boring. Oh, all right, two other words: dull, uninspired.

I think you can see what I mean by this line-up of the MTV Awards Best Dressed, as presented by http://www.redcarpetawards.com/


Photo courtesy of redcarpetawards

Countless thin young women dressed in variations of the same silhouette, be it slightly puffier on the bottom, or strapless, or with a belt...really, dahlings, who cares? Even Sandra Bullock didn't bother very much. Naturally, this being a so-called "subversive" award show, one was hoping for glitz, glamor, lunacy! Instead, we got a parade of narcolepsy-inducing fashion.

The only stand-out, in my mind, was Christina Aguilera. She seems to be having an emotional and stylistic meltdown after since the ascent of Lady Gaga. (Where was Gaga, by the way? We could have used her!!) If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then I suppose Xtina adores Gaga. Too bad it is such a poor imitation. Even in Versace.



Oh, well, at least it was something different. Let's hope the next awards show eschews so much quiet good taste.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The 2010 Grammy Awards - My Worst Dressed

DAHLINGS -

There was simply so much to choose from at the 2010 Grammy Awards, even allowing for the greater freedom and creativity in dress that such an occasion affords. Here, in no particular order, are my Worst Dressed.

I cannot decide which is less flattering, the front or the back of Rihanna's Elie Saab dress. Not only does the top look like a feather pillowcase exploded in the singer's vicinity, but the below-the-waist draping says, "Could my hips and butt look any larger? And my head look any tinier? I don't think so." There was no photo of the draping in the back, but these photos should suffice:



If that were not bad enough, Rihanna wore this, er, explosion of color at another point in the evening. Somehow those huge puffs remind me of children playing with colored tissue paper in random manner:



Katy Perry claimed she was channeling Betty Page that evening, but Betty would have second thoughts about wearing this dress. This also looks like a child's do-it-yourself project, with stuck-on glitter flowers on it. Also, one gets tired of women wearing Ms. Page's signature hairdo. There must be some other iconic pin-up out there we simply haven't gotten to yet!



And later on, Ms. Perry put her breast foot forward with this mismatched gown:



What can one say about Ke$ha? Well, I can say I have no idea who she is, but she looks more stoned than Amy Winehouse. And that, my dears, is an accomplishment! She probably bought her dress at Ricky's costume department, and the gold makeup does not a hangover hide.



Even though I adored Lady Gaga's red carpet look, I thought at first this was Marilyn Manson's big comeback. Not only that, this is the first time I've seen three camel toes.



Not to be mean spirited, but Jennifer Lopez's strange Versace dress looks like she collided with cheap white plastic fencing at Home Depot while wearing a metallic mini:



(Oh, dear, now I sound like that Little Blond Man in the black sequined disco jacket and jeans...as if he had any business telling someone else how to dress. But he is slightly more tasteful than the Bride of Riverstein.)

Now, I have mixed feelings about criticizing this woman who apparently calls herself Snooki. On the one hand, she is on one of the worst shows on television, Jersey Shore. I wanted to gouge my eyes out after fifteen minutes. Thank God I summer in the Hamptons.

On the other hand, this cheap little dress does celebrate her curves, even with those strange booties. But, cheapness overcomes overweaning self-love. Sorry, Snooki.



Beyonce wore her usual silhouette, this time awkwardly constructed, with boxy shoulders and in an unflattering color.



Ashanti achieved the feat of wearing two dresses at once.



As did Kristine Elazaj.



And Celine (gack) Dion proves that yes, it is possible to have a dress made almost entirely of eye crud.



Britney Spears...ah, poor Britney. Bad enough the press won't leave her alone, but she didn't have time to dress. So she threw a large piece of mosquito netting over a black bathing suit. Hope it wasn't too awkward when she had to go to the ladies room.



Inspired, Ciara decided to wear a more upscale version of this look, with every single piece of black trim they carry at Project Runway's Mood Fabrics:



There to shill her latest rom-com was Kristen Bell, who was nearly strangled by her dress whenever she stumbled.



Zombie Nicole Kidman was there, in black as befits the undead. However, it wasn't bad enough to get her on either list. She arrived with husband Keith Urban, who looked terrified that his bride would try to eat his brains. He tried to steer Nicole toward Ryan Seacrest, but Mr. Seacrest saw it coming and was wearing a wreath of garlic.

Finally, I do not know who this Janet Jackson lookalike is, but she had to make the list in this dress that looks like a crumpled gray paper bag.



Feel free to make comments, but do remember that I am always right.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The 2010 Grammy Awards - MY Best Dressed

DAHLINGS -


Deepest apologies from your faithful correspondent. Not only have I neglected to write about the first three episodes of Project Runway, it's taken until now for me to put together my best and worst dressed for the Grammy Awards. (I plead that my last assistant quit after we had a one-sided game of paintball in my gymnasium; she wasn't allowed a paint gun because I'm the one with a designer wardrobe, damn it.)

So, without further ado, my choices for the Best Dressed At The Grammy Awards. This is a far less stuffy affair than most award shows, so the participants are freer to express themselves. This can either be a good or a very bad thing. There was so much pure hideousness it was difficult to even put together this list! Forgive me if it is shorter than usual.

For best dressed, my first choice is singer Adam Lambert:



Not only does the "guyliner" work, his outfit reflects his persona perfectly: out and proud, with a style all of his own. I'm in love with the sparkles on this jacket and for some reason he can pull off spiky hair far better than most (are you listening, Rihanna?) Most of the male musicians were either in dark suits or country outfits, yawn.

Next, we have Keri Hilson. I have no idea who this young woman is, but the dress is a classic, and I tend to be a classicist. It is a mermaid gown by Dolce & Gabbana:



Mary J. Blige's choice of red carpet dress is faultless. This Gucci creation flatters her beautiful body and the color is stunning on her.



Pink entered in an uncharacteristically ladylike gown in ombre tones by Tony Ward. The subtle jeweled embellishment on the waistline and top of the bodice gave it that touch of femininity (which softens the effect that she'll punch your lights out if you don't like her dress).



During the awards show Pink did an acrobatic performance in which she did the most amazing imitation of a hotel fire sprinkler that I have ever seen. Since there was nobody on fire in the audience, I hope they did not mind getting drenched.

Gaby Sidibe looked sexy and youthful at the midnight after-Grammys party. This dress is perfect for her shape, quite an improvement from the Golden Globes!



And I have to admit, this dress was very near the top of my list--Lady Gaga!



Although the thing in her hand reminded me of Edward Scissorhands, your faithful correspondent loved the "lightness" of the dress (although it probably weighed a ton). One hopes she didn't cut too many other people on the red carpet. Although since it is red, perhaps nobody noticed unless their clothes were stained.

I could have done without the shoes, which in close-up looked like an unfortunate fungal infection:



So that is my Grammy Awards Best Dressed List. Feel free to comment, to agree or disagree, but bear in mind that I am always right.

(For the record--pardon the pun--I was bored by Taylor Swift's gown, and Jennifer Hudson, although in a pretty outfit, was so thin I was dismayed. It is always so sad to see yet another larger lovely buy into the Hollywood anorexia culture.)

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Cyndi Lauper and Lady Gaga To Be MAC's New Faces

DAHLINGS -

Cyndi Lauper and Lady Gaga have been named the latest faces of the MAC AIDS Fund, reports today’s Women’s Wear Daily. The newest campaign, “From Our Lips,” will break on February 25. MAC Viva Glam Gaga Lipstick and Viva Glam Cyndi Lipstick will launch in North America on March 18 and will go global after, with 100% of the proceeds being donated to the MAC AIDS Fund. Here is a link to the full article:

http://www.wwd.com/fashion-news/fashion-scoops/school-ties-mac-taps-cyndi-lauper-and-lady-gaga-patti-and-robert-2360260?page=2&src=bblast/110309

Since both women have cultivated, er, dramatic appearances, they are an ideal choice for this brand. Much more interesting than Megan Fox.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog