The CMT Awards Best Dressed List

DAHLINGS -

To put it in a way country music fans will understand, the pickin's were mighty slim at the CMT Awards earlier this week. Not quite as much of a snooze fest as the MTV Movie Awards, but there were a few pretties on display.

But before I begin, a question: why is David Spade allowed to live, much less attend the CMT Awards? What does he have to do with country music? Is owning an Ipod really enough?

And he looks so delighted to be there, too.

All right, on to the Best Dressed.

You all know my taste, which inclines toward the classics. However, my favorite outfit of the night belonged to Elizabeth Cook:

This had color, individuality, and for this fashion writer, the sense that a woman with style picked her own clothes. Others may think it bizarre, but I applaud Ms. Cook. More than anything, this ensemble is fun.

Next, we have Faith Hill, in a breezy chiffon creation by J. Mendel that both flatters her figure and projects a secure self-image:

I am not a fan of showing this much sternum, but Ms. Hill actually has something to show, unlike many of the other evening's participants.

Lady Antebellum singer Hillary Scott worked a little black strapless dress that fit perfectly.


Taylor Swift looked pretty if rather uninspired in this John Galliano dress. Much fuss has been made of the fact that she straightened her hair that evening. This just in: Taylor Swift's hair announces that it has solution for the Gulf oil disaster!


Jada Pinkett-Smith was the essence of confidence in this blue crushed velvet dress, a mashup of two different Emilio Pucci designs:

My only criticism is that velvet seems to be an awfully warm fabric choice, particularly under the lights.

In the "Close, But No Cigar" category I am sorry to put singer Trisha Yearwood. While I admire her for her womanly shape, why dress it in a black, ill-fitting, unflattering dress that looks like it was made of black garbage bags? There's a goddess's figure under there, Ms. Yearwood!


Sarah Buxton's Empire-waisted dress was nice; sorry, no more interesting word comes to mind, but I rather liked it:

Although she is extremely gaunt, a disturbing trend that is taking speed throughout all of the entertainment industry (yes, I'm talking to you, Jennifer Hudson. Thank you ever so much for letting down thousands of larger women. I cannot wait until you gain it all back and the tabloids go insane).

For the menfolk, my first choice is Trace Adkins, shown her with his lovely wife and daughter. (It is also so refreshing to see real women at these events, even if they are invariably wives.) To me, he looks authentically "country." Since I do not actually listen to country music, to me Mr. Adkins looks like he gave his outfit some, but not too much, thought.


I loved musician Danny Gokey's take on the tuxedo (his resemblance to Robert Downey Jr. doesn't hurt, either.)


That is it for my Best-Dressed list, dahlings. To be honest, I did not think I would be able to make this many choices. Even if some of them were a bit of a stretch.

Worst-Dressed List up soon, and there are, as the common folk used to say, some doozies.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The 2010 Grammy Awards - MY Best Dressed

DAHLINGS -


Deepest apologies from your faithful correspondent. Not only have I neglected to write about the first three episodes of Project Runway, it's taken until now for me to put together my best and worst dressed for the Grammy Awards. (I plead that my last assistant quit after we had a one-sided game of paintball in my gymnasium; she wasn't allowed a paint gun because I'm the one with a designer wardrobe, damn it.)

So, without further ado, my choices for the Best Dressed At The Grammy Awards. This is a far less stuffy affair than most award shows, so the participants are freer to express themselves. This can either be a good or a very bad thing. There was so much pure hideousness it was difficult to even put together this list! Forgive me if it is shorter than usual.

For best dressed, my first choice is singer Adam Lambert:



Not only does the "guyliner" work, his outfit reflects his persona perfectly: out and proud, with a style all of his own. I'm in love with the sparkles on this jacket and for some reason he can pull off spiky hair far better than most (are you listening, Rihanna?) Most of the male musicians were either in dark suits or country outfits, yawn.

Next, we have Keri Hilson. I have no idea who this young woman is, but the dress is a classic, and I tend to be a classicist. It is a mermaid gown by Dolce & Gabbana:



Mary J. Blige's choice of red carpet dress is faultless. This Gucci creation flatters her beautiful body and the color is stunning on her.



Pink entered in an uncharacteristically ladylike gown in ombre tones by Tony Ward. The subtle jeweled embellishment on the waistline and top of the bodice gave it that touch of femininity (which softens the effect that she'll punch your lights out if you don't like her dress).



During the awards show Pink did an acrobatic performance in which she did the most amazing imitation of a hotel fire sprinkler that I have ever seen. Since there was nobody on fire in the audience, I hope they did not mind getting drenched.

Gaby Sidibe looked sexy and youthful at the midnight after-Grammys party. This dress is perfect for her shape, quite an improvement from the Golden Globes!



And I have to admit, this dress was very near the top of my list--Lady Gaga!



Although the thing in her hand reminded me of Edward Scissorhands, your faithful correspondent loved the "lightness" of the dress (although it probably weighed a ton). One hopes she didn't cut too many other people on the red carpet. Although since it is red, perhaps nobody noticed unless their clothes were stained.

I could have done without the shoes, which in close-up looked like an unfortunate fungal infection:



So that is my Grammy Awards Best Dressed List. Feel free to comment, to agree or disagree, but bear in mind that I am always right.

(For the record--pardon the pun--I was bored by Taylor Swift's gown, and Jennifer Hudson, although in a pretty outfit, was so thin I was dismayed. It is always so sad to see yet another larger lovely buy into the Hollywood anorexia culture.)

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

People's Choice Award: The Worst Dressed

DAHLINGS -

As I mentioned in my previous post, my choices for Best and Worst were hampered by the sameness of the dresses, particularly the plethora of one-shouldered gowns. However, your faithful correspondent will not let her readers down. Here, in no particular order, are my Worst Dressed.

THE WORST DRESS OF THE NIGHT

One star's outfit leapt out at me. It is amazing that Carrie Underwood managed to find a dress made entirely of chicken wire:



"OUCH, y'all."

And that strange bustle-thing; did it hurt to sit on? I only hope she wasn't badly scratched by evening's end.

FOR GOD'S SAKE, FEED ME A SANDWICH!

There was the usual swarm of hideously gaunt actresses, their fleshless arms and legs exposed by teeny frocks.

First, we have Taylor Swift (who apparently plays major league basketball in her spare time, minus the steroids):

Jessica Alba looks as though nothing but vitamin water has passed her lips for the past six months. This dress was criticized on another site for making Ms. Alba's hips look big...er, big, if you're a praying mantis.

Diane Kruger is disturbing in Herve Leger:

Even a sorry attempt at pouf doesn't make Dana Ramirez look any more female:

SPECIAL NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD AWARD

...goes to Nicole Kidman. Her pallor, skeletal appearance and immobile face (not to mention the flat, lustreless hair) suggest that she died last week, but was specially resurrected to attend this ceremony. I do hope they sprayed her with a great deal of Chanel #5 to conceal the odor of decay.

"I need brains. Braaaains..."

FOLIE AUX DRESS

Whoever this young woman is, she may consider firing her stylist. The oversized, draped top is trying to be 80s and, unfortunately, succeeding. And pumpkin orange is not the new black.

One supposes we should be celebrating Hayley Williams's individuality, for her dress is neither one-shouldered nor draped. However it looks as though she is being attacked by a swarm of huge moths. Her stylist also might have suggested that orange is not the new black when it comes to hair, either.

"This is tasty wool!"

This couple looks as glum as their outfits:

She: "Are we having fun yet?"

He: "No."

Finally, we have Sandra Bullock. Not only is her dress a color that washes her out, it is strangely constructed. It rather looks like the fabric was thrown at her and then basted where it landed. Fortunately, her recent box office successes have made Ms. Bullock able to afford a staggering amount of plastic surgery, leaving her face a waxen mask.

As I wrote before, this is my list, and feel free to leave your comments. But bear in mind that I am always right.

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Susan Boyle, the Scottish Nightingale With A Beauty All Her Own

DAHLINGS -

Your faithful correspondent must confess, she was astounded by Susan Boyle's spectacular performance on Britain's Got Talent. It was not because she was "funny-looking." In fact I found her gold lace dress quite attractive and vintage-esque. It was not because she was "plump," as some would put it. The eyebrows could perhaps do with a good plucking, but women in England are not as obsessed with appearance as we Americans.

However, television generally demands that its performers, particularly female, be as perfectly bland as peas in a pod, and Susan Boyle was anything but bland from the moment she walked on the stage.

Moreover she committed television's cardinal sin: she looked like an ordinary person, someone you would pass on the street without glancing twice. Unless you were her friend or a relative. (Only on commercials is that allowed, it seems.)

The vast majority of our population is like that. But our media chooses to tell us otherwise. In fact it pummels us with airbrushed photos and commercials of gorgeous celebrities, anorexically thin women--you don't think television is retouched the way Photoshop retouches magazine covers? Have you ever noticed that my dear friend Sarah Jessica Parker is not only in soft focus while hustling Garnier Nutrisse, the large mole on her chin is mysteriously absent?

We are surrounded by ways to sell us an unreachable perfection. But Susan Boyle gives the the lie to all of that by being an ordinary, beautiful, imperfect curvy woman.



Young, attractive members of the audience were shown on camera snickering before she sang, but once she sang, they were at her feet.

You can watch it by clicking on the title of this particular entry, in fact.

It is a rather long clip, but quite worth it! It has become an Internet sensation, in fact.

One hopes that all of the lookalike melisma-belting wannabes on countless talent shows learn from this that true ability knows no age limit and does not necessarily look like Taylor Swift.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog