An Open Letter To Michelle Obama: Recycle! Wear Vintage!

DAHLING MS. OBAMA -

One isn't quite sure how to word the greeting...should it be "Dahling First Lady"? "Dahling Michelle"? "Darling Wife Of That Staggeringly Handsome President"? Hard decisions, and I have barely started this blog-thing! Somehow I never felt inspired to write to Laura Bush.

We all know how lovely you looked on Inauguration night, in your only-slightly-too-fussy evening gown.


Of course we remember the controversy your official portrait caused, even though you looked sleek and sophisticated in your little black dress. Quietly tasteful is the phrase that comes to mind, Ms. Obama.

The more we get to know you (or at least your public image), the more we see how much you like bare arms, bold colors, daring shapes, a mix of conservative and innovative that few other women could pull off. (Although the blue argyle cardigan with the formal skirt is pushing it a tad, in my opinion.) You have brought J. Crew, Thakoon and Isabel Toledo recognition worldwide.

Ms. Obama, as long as you are playing with your style, why not try vintage clothing?

Vintage offers everything you could want, and then some! Perhaps not in my shops (since virtually all of my stock is plus-sized), but there are countless other sellers out there who could benefit from your support.

Black sleeveless dresses? We've got them! Embellished cardigans? We've got them! Evening gowns in bold colors? We've got them! Interesting belts? We've got them! Sheath dresses? We have them and how, to use a colloquialism.

President Obama talks about economic stimulus packages. I can think of none better than you making an appearance in a beautiful vintage dress! You are not only fashionable, Ms. Obama, you are recycling! And of course, hundreds if not thousands of women will rush to follow your example.

For instance, this chartreuse gown by Pauline Trigere, available at Decades in Los Angeles:

Or this adorable sleeveless bright orange dress from Violetville Vintage on (ugh) Ebay:
Speaking of sleeveless, how about this stunner of a gown by designer Bosand in yellow and white? At http://www.cemetarian.com/:

And one must toot one's own horn. At my high-end shop, The Mad Fashionista's Plus Size Boutique, I have this simply amazing gold/silver/copper brocade gown (forgive me, the model is a bit too small):

http://fashiondig.com/shop/shop.asp?Page=1&MerchantID=5660

My dear First Lady, consider carefully what I am saying. Just one appearance in the right vintage dress, whether it be by Dior or Ceil Chapman, would be a shot in the arm (pardon the pun)to the vintage business!

And of course, you and your staggeringly handsome husband are welcome to visit my posh Central Park West digs at any time. Or here, at my fabulous (featured in Architectural Digest) oceanfront mansion.

Yours in impeccable style,
Ciao
Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog*

*His behavior will be perfect, as long as you don't bring Bo.

Fashion Week Fall 2009: The Spirit of Michelle Obama Hovers

(This is Mademoiselle’s assistant…she’s left piles of notes, text messages, and Twitters for me to decipher because she’s been too busy to write this blog. How does she expect me to keep up with everything? It’s not like she pays me that much, and she makes me account for EVERY CENT of petty cash at the end of every week, even if it’s 2 AM on Sunday. Sorry, but I am so tired…and Mademoiselle’s expecting me to lay out four more outfits for the next two days…somebody kill me…maybe I’ll put a tack in her boot…anyway, here we go from last Friday.)

The shadow of Michelle Obama has been hovering over this February’s Fashion Week. Even the most outrageous designers so far have been toning down their approaches, giving classical twists and turns to formerly avant-garde wear.

For example, Yigal Azrouél’s show simply amazed me. As my loyal readers know, he is well-known for his drab, shapeless garments, devoted to inspiring depression in the viewer. What has happened to the man? Yes, there were a share of those pieces, but many of them were pared down, fitted, even, dare I say it, sexy. And there were colors!
(All photos below by Marcel Madiera)



I almost fainted, but then I would have fallen over onto Julia Stegner and probably been ejected. So I popped a chocolate instead.




A common silhouette at many of the shows this week was the short, fitted dress with a strongly defined waistline and often equally defined shoulders. Much of Charlotte Ronson’s collection featured that look, which happily mentioned referencing wartime vintage. There was also a strong 1980s influence, which one cannot escape these days.



This misstep, however, looked like vintage that had been hanging in a screened porch for several decades. One could almost smell the mold.


As expected, Nicole Miller presented exquisite clothes, both dresses and separates. This was her presentation of The Silhouette, which dominated her collection:


I’ve ordered this one for myself (just slightly longer). I am sure Michelle would approve.


On Saturday, Valentine’s Day, I simply could not bring myself to attend Barbie’s Runway Show. Some people might think of me as a fashion whore, but every prostitute has her limits, and this was the fashion equivalent of asking to kiss me on the lips.

Part of it was the thought of clothing inspired by that hideously insipid Aryan doll in the first place, the other was the idea of bone-thin models trying to fill them out, when all they had in common, figure-wise, was the ludicrously tiny waist. The final blow was that the tent would be filled with shrieking little girls (ugh). According to the Wall Street Journal:

“The show was a celebration of “all things girl,” said Richard Dickson, general manager and senior vice president worldwide for Mattel, noting that it was part of an ongoing marketing campaign to strengthen Barbie’s [sic] relevance.”

Too late!

However, I will share this one photo with you, from the Associated Press:


Hmmm...I never knew they had released a Starvation Barbie. Put her back in the box, I say!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Dateline Washington DC: Michelle Obama's Inauguration Gown

DAHLINGS -

So, Michelle Obama is wearing a glorious ivory one shoulder gown by Jason Wu. (Jason Who? No matter, the entire world will know his name tomorrow.)


Photo by Damon Winter/The New York Times

The only problem with it is that she cannot dance in it, because the new President keeps stepping on the train. But it is so much more beautiful than some of the horrors other designers came up with. For instance, this strange concoction by Betsey Johnson:



The gown is crafted of ivory silk chiffon, embroidered with silver thread and Swarovski crystal rhinestones, with organza accents. The shoulder treatment is rather like a sash, exquisitely feminine and regal. One's only criticism is that it is a tad fussy, but why not on a night like this?



Our new President Barack Obama looks so handsome in his white tie. It suits him ever so much better than those stuffy business suits! Who would have thought we had elected Fred Astaire to the White House, sartorially speaking? Too bad he didn't go the whole route and wear tails, but during this terrible recession, it would have sent the wrong message.



FYI, I'm in a gown by my favorite designer, Oscar de la Renta, in blue and gold silk dupioni, and I am carrying Bucky in a custom-designed matching carrier (lined in absorbent and waterproof material inside. Your faithful correspondent has been around this particular block many times before). My feet are still cold--the Secret Service confiscated the space heater I stole from Dick Cheney at the Inauguration. How could I have slept with that man back in the day? What was I thinking? Oh, well, it was une folie de la jeunesse, and he didn't look quite so evil a few decades ago.

Must dash--I'm here at the Creative Coalition Ball at the Harmon Cultural Center and my nose is most definitely shiny! Actually, Anne Hathaway is bearing down on me with a look in her eye that tells me she read my blogs about the Golden Globes.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Dateline Washington DC: Inauguration Fashion!

(This is Mademoiselle's assistant, writing up her notes from the Inauguration. I hope she gets good and looped at the post-Inaugural luncheon, she's been impossible.)

It is absolutely frigid out here, even my silk knit lingerie does not help. I am bundled up top to toe. Thank goodness Bucky is back at the Willard Hotel; the little darling does not do well in these temperatures. The estimates of the crowd range from 1 million to 16 million, but all I know is that my toes are frozen.

Hillary Clinton is wearing a cobalt blue coat that would be perfectly acceptable except for that strange ruffle across the back. Laura Bush is wearing a suitably toned down gray ensemble; considering how loudly her husband had been booed on his entrance, it wouldn't do to dress to be noticed.

Dick Cheney is being wheeled out in a chair...how did I ever bring myself to sleep with him back in the day?

Ah, Jill Biden is wearing a wonderful lipstick red coat with an assymetrical collar. It is a bit hard to tell, but I think she has on black gloves with large black bumps on them that resemble nothing so much as Elephant Man disease. Her husband, the Vice-President elect, has on more makeup than she does, it seems from here.



Michelle Obama is wearing a marvelous sheath with a matching coat over it, in gold with white embroidery by Isabel Toledo. She has accessorized it with green gloves and matching green pumps. This is definitely a First Lady with a style mind of her own. I don't care for the jeweled collar, but otherwise, this is an instant classic. (Pardon my fawning, but this is the new administration and your faithful correspondent knows which side her bread is buttered on.)

They are beginning the ceremony--whose hair is stiffer, Dianne Feinstein's or Joe Biden's? Neither one's is moving in the icy wind.



What does Aretha Franklin have on her head? Oh, dear, she is not in good voice this cold morning. Somebody just called out "Sing good!" Poor Aretha cannot oblige. She must have a cold. All the moaning and melismas in the world can't cover up the fact that the woman is having a hard time hitting the notes.

WAIT A MINUTE--I SEE A SPACE HEATER! MOVE IT OR LOSE IT, OLD MAN!

Ha. Cheney thought he could hide it under his wheelchair. Oh, that is such a relief...to be continued!

Ciao,
Elisa sans Bucky the Wonderdog

Bringing Beauty to Washington, DC!

DAHLINGS -

With the upcoming inauguration of President-elect Obama, the media has begun squawking away about the impending "return to glamour" and "re-emergence of Camelot" and similar nonsense. Female politicos are panicking. Suddenly there is tremendous pressure about not appearing their best in the new administration. During the Bush administration one could look like a billy goat and it did not hurt one's credibility. In fact, it helped.

But with the elegant Michelle Obama becoming First Lady, suddenly all of the Capitol Hill femmes, particularly those of high profile and dumpy blue suits, are terrified that they will be scrutinized as closely as celebrities. That could mean appearing in the pages of "US" magazine in the "Why Did She Wear That??" section. And then how could you get your appropropriations bill passed?

So, your faithful correspondent and an entourage of assistants were whisked off to Washington this past weekend with a truckload of designer fashions! We were booked into several suites in the fabulous Willard Hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue, a mere block or two away from the White House. My hand still aches from signing all of those confidentiality agreements!

Our floor had to be "Secret Service Cleared" so that all of the luminaries could be fitted in comfort and safety. Several lady Secret Service agents requested their uniforms be tailored in a more shapely cut. My seamstresses had their work cut out for them (pardon the pun), particularly because of the body armor and holsters.

The biggest obstacle to my work was not the figures of the women--I believe there is beauty in every shape and size, as you well know. It was the mindset: rigid conformity to outdated fashion norms, fear of change, fear of appearing "weak" if wearing anything too feminine. Since you, my faithful readers, know that I do not appear "weak" in the least, even wearing a wisp of chiffon and stiletto heels, you also know that these fears were simply too maddening! Several times I had to retire to the hotel's Round Robin Bar for a quick mojito to quell my rising temper.

Difficult clients are one thing; but difficult clients with immense legislative power must be handled with tact and delicacy, something I could only manage with some alcohol sloshing through my system.

If I may opine for a moment, I believe that suits are detrimental to women in politics. For one thing, female politicians have to wave all of the time. And we know that suits bunch up and pull over to one side when a woman waves--particularly if there are shoulder pads. Now, we are used to men looking that awkward, but women should be spared. Hillary Clinton, if you are reading this, please do stop wearing suits! You have such lovely curves, why not a dress now and then?

Oh, and the Inaugural Ball gowns...MTV is hosting the Inaugural Ball, which also wreaked emotional (and public relations) havoc amongst the women. High-neck? Low-neck? Contemporary look? Conservative? (You try getting a Republican who isn't Sarah Palin to wear a fitted, low-cut gown...a recipe for blinding migraines, mon chers.)

However, I was flown back from Washington, the trunks empty, my coffers bulging, and my wrist aching. If I have just a tiny bit of impact on how women in Washington look, that is all I ask.

That, and a hefty fee.

God Bless America.

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog

Barack Obama Elected President!

DAHLINGS -

I held a gathering of selected friends, both Democrat and Republican, to watch the election results. As the evening went on (and the cocktail consumption increased), the Democrats grew louder and happier and the Republicans grew quieter. Finally they went into the corner of the room and started muttering amongst themselves. Ever the gracious hostess, I adjured them to return to the party, but "party" was definitely the wrong choice of words. "We did, and look where it got us!" one of my guests snapped at me.

I chose to overlook his rudeness and return to the center of the room. When Obama was announced the winner, there was an eruption of cheers both in my living room and out on the street. His speech was quite stirring (even if the occasional cutaways to Oprah Winfrey and her strangely drooping false eyelashes were a distraction). Even your faithful correspondent found herself smiling and brushing away a tear or two.

The only questions I have after last night are:
What was Michelle Obama thinking with that dress??



Here is a graciously stylish woman, wearing a black and red fright that made her look like she had what the tabloids love to call a huge "baby bump". Had she been temporarily possessed by Sharon Osbourne?



What will Sarah Palin do with those clothes? My guess is that they will be donated to the Palin Foundation For Empty Closets, located in Wasilla. Call it intuition.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Sarah Palin's $150K Makeover: The Common Touch

DAHLINGS –

So, is this what would happen if a hockey mom won the lottery?

The newspapers have been buzzing with the news that the Republican National Committee decided to play Rachel Zoe with Sarah Palin to the tune of $150,000. Although your faithful correspondent feels that the RNC did a better job than Zoe would—one shudders to think of Palin giving her acceptance speech, hair parted in the middle, in a swirling tiered oversized chiffon maxi dress. (But on the other hand, the question of Palin’s credibility would have been instantly moot.)

Despite her beauty queen past, Palin was perilously close to frumpy in the months before destiny descended on her vastly unprepared shoulders. She favored a frizzy upswept hairdo with highlights that seemed meant to blind oncoming moose at night. (Those Alaska roads can be so treacherous.) The woman wore fleece, for pity's sake; need one say more?



Over John McCain’s squeaky objections, Palin was selected to be the Vice Presidential nominee, and instantly the image machine went to work. In September and October make-up artist Amy Strozzi earned about $36,000 and her hair stylist Angela Lew earned $19,000. There are moments when one thinks they are trying to remake her into a younger, sexier Elizabeth Dole. (Who, by the way, now has blinding blonde highlights of her own.) Department stores were looted for designer labels: St. John, my darling Oscar de la Renta, and Escada. Palin’s hair was darkened, smoothed, and she was even convinced to wear it down around her shoulders. (Cf. my earlier entry: "Sarah Palin - A Man Made Woman?")

Her clothing is carefully chosen to show off her trim figure, which GOP consultants feel “appeals to white male voters.” We already know she does not need to actually wear glasses, but without them she would look so generic one could not tell which politician’s fashionable wife she was.



For her acceptance speech she wore a beautiful silk shantung Valentino outfit. Many of her outfits feature belts around the waist or an hourglass cut, and she is often seen striding about in boots. Perhaps that appeals to “white male voters who long to be spanked.” Stranger things have happened in politics.



However, it does dent Palin’s image as a hard-working middle class mom (toting around her tot helps…personally, I think it is either kept heavily drugged or she is carrying a large doll. What sort of child never cries or throws up on the person carrying it? That is why I never handle children, myself).

She claims she will give the clothes to charity after she is elected. That’s a bit like saying vous donner la cher de vol de steak après avoir mangé, for lack of a better metaphor. The woman has even been reduced, in interviews, to cataloging what does and does not belong to her whenever she steps out fully dressed. (At least that way she doesn’t have to answer any hard questions about foreign policy or who Henry Paulson is and why she should care.

Now, a confession. I think the RNC does have quite good taste in clothes, if a touch bland. Certainly better than poor Cindy McCain, who always looks like she just put her finger in a light socket when she’s on the public stage.

Michelle Obama has beautiful taste in clothes as well and always has. For that she has been called “elitist.” Apparently it’s “elitist” to buy your own designer clothes, and “common” to allow rich white men to buy them for you.

Which, upon reflection, seems oddly appropriate, don’t you think? One supposes that appeals to "white male voters who wish they could afford a trophy Vice President."

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog