Project Runway's All Star Challenge: Keeping Chris March Awake

DAHLINGS --

I am still reeling from three solid hours of Project Runway. (Models Of The Runway held no interest for me, sorry.) My viewing party was a smashing success, not at least because I had the bartender put double shots in the mojitos. After The Fashion Show, it was good to watch interesting people who know what they are doing. Competence is the new black.

Because my weekend schedule is ridiculously busy and I don’t trust my assistant to type this up properly from my notes, I shall have to dictate this blog-thing in sections over the weekend. My deepest apologies; one would have liked to go at it all in one big bash.

The All-Star Challenge was so reassuring. Not because of the designers, but because it took place in NEW YORK! There were Tim Gunn and a massively pregnant Heidi Klum (will she ever stop reproducing?) on the roof with champagne, there was our beloved Mood Fabrics in the Garment District, and the overwhelming amount of product placement. At one point in the program, two of the male designers were sitting on their beds with large piles of bright green Garnier products in front of them. We never did find out why. Lotion, perhaps?

The Bluefly.com Accessory Wall is now the Macy’s Accessory Wall. I have no idea if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Dear Darling Mama used to take moi to Macy's as a wee one.

However, it was annoying that various Lifetime personalities kept appearing during the breaks in essence to announce, "You're watching Lifetime! Ha hah! We won! We got Project Runway! Bite me, Bravo!" And there was a large lump in the lower right hand of the screen, counting down the minutes to the official season premiere. I'm not sure why this seemed so deeply insulting, but I do know how to tell time.

The website reads, “Eight of your favorite designers,” which actually means, “Many were asked, few accepted.” Laura Bennet and Christian Siriano, for example, declined to appear. But it did not matter to moi. My beloved Chris March was there, and Santino Rice in all his alienating egomaniacal madness. And how wonderful to see Korto Momolu, whom I had the immense pleasure of meeting during last February’s Fashion Week.


Neckthing, aka Jeffrey Sebalia, now has a mustache ala Sam Elliot in a Hallmark Western TV-movie, and has become an untalented musician in his spare time. (His girlfriend makes Patty Smith sound melodic.)

The prize was $100,000 in cash. One could hear the saliva hitting the floor when the prize was announced. It was presented as a “multilayered challenge,” which sounded rather like Amway. Or Isagenics. The designers had to create three looks in record time, including a runway dress for Nicole Kidman to wear to the premiere of her new movie “Nine.”

It was extremely cheap for a show with such an unlimited budget to show Ms. Kidman on tape rather than live. One can report that her face is still strangely frozen, which makes her smile rather frightening.

At Mood and in the workroom, Uli Herzner and Sweet P made the unfortunate discovery that they were separated at birth. Same fabric choices, same taste, the only significant difference was Uli’s pronounced lack of tattoos. Throughout the show, Uli kept trying to vaporize Sweet P with her laser-like glare, but it didn’t work. Santino laughed incessantly (and loudly), trash-talked the other contestants, and in general behaved like the man you love to hate. And he knows it.

Chris March's workroom look was stunning, a 40's inspired plaid jacket with a huge square collar. Tim loved what Chris was doing, as did I. Although throughout the show, including during the model casting, Chris kept falling asleep. This is worrisome. Does he have sleep apnea? It was presented humorously, but I can't help being concerned. If you're reading this, my dear Chris March, do see a doctor!

(It could have been narcolepsy, but he wasn't watching The Fashion Show.)

More later, dear readers -

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Fashion Week 2009: Fashion Week After Party With Korto Momolu!

DAHLINGS -

The week came to a perfect end at Nikki Beach, where The MacDella Cooper Foundation was holding a star-studded Fashion Week After Party, a fundraiser to raise funds for the MCF Academy for Orphans and Abandoned Children in Liberia, set to open next year. First there was a VIP cocktail hour, where I met a number of fascinating guests. Then it was time to take our seats, some of us at the VIP tables (including moi, of course). Veuve Cliquot and sushi was served, and I felt quite relieved that I had decided at the last minute to leave Bucky at home. He tends to get very noisy around sushi.
(All photos by Elisa DeCarlo)

The chair opposite me sat empty until a young model, Rachel, asked to join me, since I had a clear view of the stage and her table did not. I was more than happy to oblige.
I do wish I had gotten a full-face shot; she was beautiful and extremely intelligent, a rare combination in models.

After opening remarks by Jones New York CEO Susan Metzger (glam in black lace) and the gorgeous Miss MacDella Cooper herself, there was an unveiling of the plan by movie-star attractive architect Winka Dubbledam, shown here with a handsome young man whose name I never quite caught. I think it was Mark, and he had something to do with MSN.


Here is this handsome young man with two of the other sponsors. The young lady is Ashly Priest of Victoria's Secret. I do wish I'd thought to take notes!


The only awkward moment during the presentation was when the pull down screen decided to CRASH onto the stage in front of the various dignitaries. Fortunately for all involved, it hit a table full of glassware but no one was hurt.

(To be honest, for your faithful correspondent, it was one of the high points of the evening--I have never been one for long speeches, no matter what the cause.)

Once the mess was cleaned up and the presentations done, came what we were all really there for: the fashion show by “Project Runway’s” Korto Momolu (and unlike the unfortunates in Bryant Park on Friday morning, we knew her name!).

My poor camera was not up to capturing the fashions, but trust me on this, loyal readers, they were truly magnificent. The models were lifted onto a wooden platform that ran the length of the room.






Korto is originally from Liberia, and her African-inspired fashions were the perfect touch. She came out at the end in a beautiful sequin-trimmed knit dress that showed off her gorgeous body, shyly acknowledging the screaming applause by hiding behind one of her models!



So once again, I have survived Fashion Week, more or less. And tonight it is the Academy Awards. Oh, my GOD! Is there no justice? No justice at all??

Ciao,
Elisa sans Bucky the Wonderdog

Project Runway Goes "High Brow" with Diane Von Furstenberg

DAHLINGS –

Didn’t Leanne surprise us all by winning her second challenge in a row? The challenge was to design for Diane Von Furstenberg, fashion legend and whose brow lift was carefully lit. (Was that an Iphone in her cleavage in the beginning? Qu'est-ce qu'un beau toucher commune. Look it up.)



Leanne's dress was simply stunning, I have NO criticism to offer. (Please do not faint.) Despite my earlier criticisms, she has stepped forward and proved to be the threat she claimed to be. The clumpy jacket, one did not care for, but that dress was absolutely sensational! Diane Von Furstenberg is offering it to American Express customers, and has only changed the color from cobalt blue to purple. And of course, lost the heavy jacket.



Although your faithful correspondent believes that Korto should have gotten the win. That beautiful gown! The yellow and print! The faux lamb jacket! All absolute perfection, and SO DVF. However, Korto has a slight attitude problem. If only she could smile graciously when she does not win instead of sulking. Her sullenness might cause her to be auf'd. (This is said with love, dahlings!)



As a judge, DVF was a tremendous improvement over Rachel Zoe. And Fern Mallis did an excellent job. She is head of IMG, producers of Fashion Week, which starts...tomorrow!



AND Laura Bennett…this may be heresy to some of you out there, but I wish she was on the program every week. I have not had a chance to comment on her since my earlier PR entry some time ago. (Her “excuse me?” to Keith the week before was one of the great Project Runway moments.) Her comments, her eye, absolutely on target.

Heidi the Hun surprised me too, dahlings. Her runway outfit was in quiet good taste, and the first one to be an appropriate length for her age!



Again, do not faint, but I was sorry to see Stella go. After all these weeks, I’ve gotten used to her. However, she insisted on sending the same ideas down the runway again and again, refusing to compromise her "rock and roll" aesthetic. It certainly bears no resemblance to MY aesthetic. Over the past two weeks, some of the designers have been listening to Tim Gunn and modifying their designs, but Stella would not. It was remarkable to see how upset the other designers were to see her leave, and quite touching.



However, at least it was Stella and not Joe. Although Joe’s design was ill-conceived. He might have slipped by if he hadn’t used that hideous shiny fabric for the shawl. But that shawl took the outfit from “tawdry” to “cheap”.



Blayne thinks MARY KATE OLSEN is a fashion legend?? He probably thinks Rachel Zoe is a model of understated good taste. His design was a disaster. (There is NO reason for Blayne to still be there except that some people think he makes “good television.” Good television according to whom?)



I know that Kenley was completely overwhelmed by the prospect of designing for DVF. She chose to make one perfect dress rather than multiple pieces. One has to admit, what she wore on Runway Day was beaucoup plus créatif than what she sent down the runway.

What she sent down the runway:


Her own design off the runway:


One major cavil: The plot of "A Foreign Affair," as Diane Von Furstenberg outlines it and as the designers mangle it later, bears NO relation to the plot of the actual movie! It was made in 1948, set entirely in post-war Berlin, and directed by the great Billy Wilder.



Marlene Dietrich plays a glamorous entertainer, true, but she is NOT a spy. She sings in a tawdry nightspot and lives in near-poverty. However, she is an ex-Nazi, protected by a corrupt American captain (played by John Lund). Jean Arthur, a famous comedienne of the 1930s and 1940s, plays a prim Congresswoman sent to investigate conditions in Berlin and the morale of the troops there. Arthur falls in love with Lund, and Dietrich is exposed and turned over to the MPs. No Shanghai, no New York. Edith Head designed Dietrich's costumes, which ranged from beaded gowns to ordinary streetwear and of course, a trenchcoat.

I very much doubt Diane Von Furstenberg actually saw the movie, and should fire the assistant who told her the plot. Just my non-humble opinion.

My dear readers, you know my opinion of vintage sellers who have no sense of history. If designers spent an evening with a few DVDs instead of looking at photographs, how much richer the design world might be for it!

See you under the tents!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Project Runway - Hello, Olympics, Goodbye, Dali!

DAHLINGS –

The Olympics have started, but it’s the end for Jennifer, whose mantra was that her vision was “Holly Golightly at a Salvador Dali exhibit.” Poor deluded little thing. This week’s challenge was to create outfits for the female athletes at the opening ceremonies of the Summer Olympics. Simple enough, wouldn’t you think?

Non. Not for this bunch.

Most of them were thrown into a designing tizzy, resulting in some of the oddest athletic wear I have seen since I was accidentally taken to a Burning Man some years ago. Jennifer could simply not grasp the concept, and ended up creating Olympic Barbie:

What this outfit has to do with the Olympics, with athletics, with China, I have no idea. And neither did she. Which got her promptly, and understandably, auf’d. Since I only noticed her in the last episode, I cannot say that I am sorry, although I am hoping Leatha Stella gets the biker boot soon. Is it me, or she sending the same sad outfit down the runway again and again?

For some reason, one kept flashing on John McCain at that biker's rally, listening to the bikers waste gallons of fuel gunning their motors as he ridiculed tire gauges.

But I digress. Joe was spot on when he said, “There’s too much drama because there’s too many queens around.” He quietly went ahead and created what your faithful correspondent felt should have been the winning outfit, even with that odd hemline. (It should be noted that many of the so-called even hemlines this season have been, on close-up, as they say, “craptastic”.) This was one of the few times the cliché of the straight man’s fondness for sports actually came in handy.

However, he lost to Korto, whose outfit was nice enough, but not terribly exciting for moi. But at least the curvaceously creative Liberian native is still on the show, which is a plus in more ways than one.



Speaking of queens, was that a collective sound of lustful panting that arose when Apolo Ohno skated up to the designers? Even Tim Gunn looked as though he was thinking, “I’d love to get that outfit off your supremely muscled diminutive physique and show you that this older chap can still do a few gymnastics of his own.”

Commandant Heidi began the show by looking as though both her spray-on tan and sprayed-on leather pants had been heavily greased. Perhaps she had just finished roasting one of her children over an open spit. For the runway, she wore an odd chain-mail outfit, that like most of her runway outfits, are letting her evil side show more than ever. They might need to have an exorcism on the set after the series ends at this rate.

Getting back to the designers and their utter bafflement at the challenge, take a look at this horror by Jerrell:



Didn’t Minnie Pearl once wear that hat? The outfit is a puffy pouffy nightmare, dahlings, no doubt about it. With capri leggings, no less. (And if, like tanorexic Blayne, you don’t remember the Beatles, surely you won’t know who Minnie Pearl is. But I care not.) Like most of the designers, he threw caution and intelligence to the wind. It is a miracle he did not get auf'd. Perhaps it was because during the runway he was actually wearing something more interesting on his head than Kenley.

Daniel sent a cocktail dress, of all things, down the runway! Isn’t he capable of designing anything else?? Are we going to be seeing cocktail dresses made of tin foil, cocktail dresses ala Jane Austen, military cocktail dresses? Of course, one cannot top Michael Kors’s comment that Daniel’s dress looked as though it came from “the Republic of Cocktail Land.” Daniel is the Sweet P of this season, slowly inching his way to a complete mental breakdown. My heart breaks whenever they show him in the workroom, agonizing over his latest...cocktail dress.

For a little fun from the last episode, compare this latest photo of last week's judge Sandra Bernhard with the poster for her upcoming revival.



As I wrote previously, someone has too much time on their hands. Unlike moi!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Today's Fashion Tip:

Do NOT let this happen to you or anyone else you know!

Terrifying.

Project Runway's Season Five Train Wreck, er, Premiere

DAHLINGS –

Forgive me for taking so long for writing about the season premiere of “Project Runway.” The viewing party took more recovery time than one expected!

One’s first thought as the purported designers all filed into the bedrooms at the beginning was, “Who are these people, and why do I get the distinct impression most of them smell bad?”

No wonder Tim and Heidi met them outdoors on the roof. One hopes the hosts were upwind. And does anyone have news of the person killed by Tim's champagne cork?

I am not certain of who I find the most annoying of the hellish trio of Suede, Blayne, and Stella. A 37-year-old man that calls himself Suede deserves to be beaten in an alley with a 2 by 4, but that is just my humble opinion, as they say online. And as I mentioned earlier, his penchant for talking about himself in the third person is something that should only be reserved for pretentious poseurs like Madonna (oh, my apologies, she is his principal influence. What a surprise.). One of my guests yelled at the screen, “Somebody grab that bastard’s blue tuft and yank it out by the roots!”

Blayne has the double-whammy of having atrocious taste and being extremely hard to look at in close-up. Particularly without his cap-thing. I wanted to kiss Tim Gunn for causing almost all of the designers urinate on themselves by denouncing them for using tablecloths. It’s so good to have him back, isn’t it? "De-ziners, gather round! You suck already and it's only the first challenge! How am I supposed to keep my sanity and world famous savoir-faire around you people?"

In any event, Blayne's “girlicious” design was “girl-trocious”. The poor model looked like she was wearing old Kotex pads stitched to her front and back, or as if she had a terrible yeast infection that had exploded over the front of that mesh bathing suit. Yeeeecccch.



As for Stella, what gutter did the producers pull her out of? 42 year olds who dress and sound like sullen tweens are not your faithful correspondent’s favorite kind of people. Maybe we’ll get lucky and she’ll have a heroin overdose before the end of the series. (Imagine the problems the producers would have, keeping THAT news off the Internet!) That hideous dress, so devoid of inspiration—did anyone else notice that she did not start putting anything together until they had roughly four hours left? What was she doing in the meantime, besides whining?



Perhaps she was busy in the loo shooting up.

Most of the designs got the thumbs-down from my guests, and I was hard-pressed to remember who had designed what, even with a scorecard. There are so MANY designers at the start! Heidi Klum was so eager to start ripping out the designer's jugulars on the runway she virtually needed a drool cup. Nina Garcia was, as usual, a cardboard cut-out in a chair, Michael Kors has single-handedly bought out all of the Cover Girl Dark Matte Makeup in every Duane Reade in New York, but Austin was delightful. So girlish, so soignee', so playing to the camera!

My personal favorites were by Daniel and Korto. Although the poor boy needed a Xanax, the plastic cup dress actually looked wearable, as long as you didn't venture out into the summer heat:



As for Korto, her dress showed taste, style, and originality, even if she did use a tablecloth:



Naturally, I particularly liked that her bio on the official Project Runway site stated that she designs for "real, full-figured women." It will be interesting seeing her tackle one challenge on PR: dressing those stick figures they are given for models!

The winner, Kelli, made an interesting, creative dress. Others have objected to the coffee filter bra, but I thought it was a smart use of limited materials. At least she did not use a tablecloth.

STOP THE PRESSES! A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

My favorite "Project Runway" designer ever, CHRIS MARCH, is blogging about this season as only he can! It is truly hilarious, dahlings, and I have a link to it on the right. Your viewing experience isn't complete until you've read his blog (after you read mine, of course).

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog