The 2010 Academy Awards Worst Dressed

DAHLINGS -

Now that I have brought you the Best Dressed, it's time for my choices for the 2010 Academy Awards Worst Dressed. There were so many choices. The trends for this award show were strapless dresses and ruffles, ruffles and more ruffles. Very few one-shoulder gowns, which was refreshing. So here they are.

We begin with the hands-down winner for not only the ugliest dress, but the ugliest hairdo (the photos do not do it justice: imagine three huge blonde balloons fastened to the back of the head) and the most over-exercised shoulders.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER

Not to sound like Little Blond Man on cable, but oh, the humanity! The metal breastplate, the back metal breastplate, the butt jewelry...where does it end? No wonder Matthew Broderick looked so uncomfortable all evening. Who wants to be seen with a Chrysler hood ornament? And how did she sit down without that big lump of metal sticking into her butt? Is she trying to channel 60s Barbra Streisand? (Who, by the way, has had a face lift that has left her with such tight skin that if you shake her hand, she nods.) This was Chanel Couture.

This probably means that Sarah won't be making me custom scented soap anymore. Sorry, dahling, but one must tell the truth.

However, there was a close runner-up:

DIANE KRUGER

What is with that shredded toilet paper skirt? That Victorian black bordello trim? Jaws dropped as she made her way down the red carpet, and not in a good way. Is this a vintage 1890s salvaged gown where they cut away the rotted parts? No, it is Chanel once again. The grinding sound you hear is Coco Chanel rotating in her grave.

The rest, is no particular order, are:

CHARLIZE THERON

What was she thinking? "My breasts are so small that I must make everyone notice how tiny they are"? "Nobody cares that I'm here so I'm going to wear a REALLY UGLY DRESS so I get photographed and talked about. I NEED PUBLICITY, PEOPLE!" Actually, the more I look at this Christian Dior mess, the more it looks as though a lilac-colored alien being is reaching its lobster-like claws around her chest.

SANDRA BULLOCK

It certainly was thrifty of her to dash into David's Bridal that morning and find this on the sale rack.

SAMANTHA HARRIS

Another member of the overworked-out crowd, why TV personality Samantha Harris chose this ill-fitting gown with its confusing neckline eludes me. I think she may be suffering from Charlize Theron syndrome: NOTICE ME, DAMMIT!

AMANDA SEYFRIED

The young actress managed to find an Armani Prive' dress that did the opposite: erased her personality. One must confess, the plethora of actresses wearing updos and slicked back hair got awfully tiresome, as seen here.

BOBBLEHEAD GIRL

This is the gaunt woman who works alongside Little Blond Man, critiquing the fashions as they come down the runway. They had to pleat her chest to give her cleavage. God, if only women like this would wear sleeves! The world would be a better place.

DEMI MOORE

As has been noted, it was raining at the Academy Awards that night. Poor Demi Moore and her Atelier Versace gown obviously got caught in a downpour, judging from the sad drowned ruffles and the disheveled hair. I hope she was toweled down shortly after this photograph was taken.

KRISTEN STEWART

Her hunched posture and scowl certainly did not add to the fact that this Monique Lhuillier dress is simply too old for her. Maybe that's why she was scowling? "Mooom, I want to wear Custo Barcelona!"

MILEY CYRUS

Speaking of hunched posture, Miley managed to maintain this uncomfortable and unflattering pose all evening. Perhaps her backless longline bra was too short? She borrowed both the dress and the hairdo from her grandmother, it seems. (However, next to her mother, Miley looked like a beacon of good taste.) One suspects her father encouraged her to wear this outfit.

TOO MUCH DRESS

This had to be a separate category all its own, because so many actresses chose enormous gowns that, in some cases, caused tragedy (to be described below). No, zombie Nicole Kidman was not roaming backstage, looking for brains to eat.

ZOE SALDANA

Where to start? The strange tissue paper flamenco styling that looks as though the purple had vomited out the bottom of the skirt? The hideous color pallette? The strange, unflattering bodice? The little tiny head at the top of this mess? Oh, well, if you wanted B-picture drama on the red carpet, this was your gown. By Givenchy, no less.

RACHEL McADAMS

Actually, it's rather charming that Ms. McAdams made her dress herself, tie-dying the cloth and then basting it together. She got carried away with the skirt, however. Ms. McAdams gets that way sometimes.

JENNIFER LOPEZ

My first thought upon seeing this Armani Prive' gown was that Jennifer Lopez was trying to make her husband Marc Anthony even more inconspicuous. Why does he bother to leave the house anymore? My second thought was that the piece sticking out of the ice pink bodice could easily be snapped off. And that perhaps the entire dress was made from that thin foamboard children play with in first grade. Fortunately, in case something like that happened, she was carrying a huge pink handkerchief attached to her hip to clean up any mess.

VERA FARMIGA

And she looked so beautiful in Up In The Air. This is the tragedy I alluded to above: another actress devoured by her own dress. Shortly after she left the Academy stage, screams were heard coming from the ladies room. Witnesses who rushed in have reported that Farmiga was gone. There was only a huge heap of ruffles on the tiled floor. Another senseless couture tragedy.

So there you have it. Please feel free to comment, agree or disagree. But remember; I am always right.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The 2010 Academy Awards Best Dressed

DAHLINGS -

As I trawl the Internet to bring you tid-bits for my blog-thing, I am truly amazed by the variety of opinions I find on the gowns worn by the actresses at the Academy Awards. Awash in strapless columns and ruffles, the readers do not know where to turn!

Fortunately, you no longer have to be confused, because I am here to guide you.

ZOE KRAVITZ

The actress daughter of Lenny Kravitz looks radiant in a white and red gown that is simplicity itself. Even if her father's music is derivative, Zoe clearly has her own sense of style.

KATHRYN BIGELOW

Even before I knew she was the Oscar-winning director of the Oscar-winning film The Hurt Locker (nyah-nyah, James Cameron!) I thought she was one of the best dressed women on the red carpet. This titanium silk YSL dress makes the most of her beautiful figure.

MO'NIQUE

What makes this Tadashi Shoji look particularly special is that the actress (who won for Best Supporting) is saluting Hattie McDaniel, the first African-American ever to win an Oscar, by wearing blue and a flower in her hair. As Ms. McDaniels did all those years ago.

SUSAN DOWNEY

Not only does Susan have the finest arm candy of the evening in husband Robert Downey Jr., her dress fits perfectly, and displays individuality and flair in the best way possible. (The worst possible ways will be in my next entry.)

GABBY SIDIBE

She coined the immortal line, "If fashion is porn, then I am the money shot!" (If that has to be explained to you, go ask your parents.) This beautiful blue gown is by Marchesa. My only disappointment is that she again lost the Best Actress Award to Sandra Bullock, who has been winning so many awards she might as well phone in her awards speech.

MERYL STREEP

Stunning once again in a gown by my darling Chris March! The man can do ANYTHING! She looks poised, age-appropriate, and very sexy. Her hair and jewelry complement her dress perfectly.

MARISKA HARGITAY

She made Worst Dressed on my last list, but let's face it, how many of today's actresses know how to work a strapless gown to the hilt? This dark blue number makes the most of her many assets.

QUEEN LATIFAH

What can one say? (If you think I'm going to say "All Hail The Queen" I'll slap you silly.) She knows herself, she knows the red carpet, she has it down to a beautiful science. All women should be so effortlessly comfortable with themselves.

CHRISTINA HENDRICKS

She is actually attending Elton John's fabled Oscar After-Party, but she looks so fabulous I had to include her on my list. Even if the photograph is from a terrible angle. I'll wager the photographer stood on a chair. They used to do that to Marilyn, too.

So there are my picks. Feel free to comment, to agree or disagree, or to mention someone I've left out. For the record, Maggie Gyllenhall and Sigourney Weaver both looked lovely, but not quite up to this particular standard. Of course, Alec Baldwin looked...well, hot is the only word I can think of. Oh, dear, I need to go off and fan myself. That is not a euphemism.

And remember, I am always right.

Ciao,
Elisa and Bucky The Wonderdog

*All images courtesy of Getty and Wireimage

The 2010 Academy Awards LIVE

DAHLINGS -

I'm in Los Angeles, doing my level best not to cough on anyone famous (ESPECIALLY Alec Baldwin). Ryan Seacrest is working the Red Carpet (he works so much I'm beginning to believe he's a gay cyborg).

Bobblehead Girl is babbling about live-texting your votes for the Academy Awards winners. Who cares what the rabble think? They don't, but it fills up the airtime.

So far I'm watching the celebrities come down the red carpet, and trying not to get pushed over by two nonentities from TV. Amanda Seyfried looks like she's wearing fish scales. Oh, god, Little Blond Man is on. I might start retching.

Later,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The Red Carpet Issue, A New Documentary With Moi!

DAHLINGS -

I was thrilled to find out that at last the Sundance Channel is airing The Red Carpet Issue, a documentary about the Academy Awards. I am more than ready for my close-up!

As the website states:

"French journalist and filmmaker Olivier Nicklaus explores the mystique, risks and rewards surrounding the fabled red carpet on which designers, stylists, and celebrities vie for the attention of the world's media. Featuring interviews with red carpet veterans Karl Lagerfeld, Marc Jacobs, Monica Bellucci, Milla Jovovich and Perez Hilton."

AND your faithful correspondent! I was interviewed during last September's Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. And of course, my fabulousness is to be seen in The Red Carpet Issue!

http://www.sundancechannel.com/fullfrontalfashion/series/

Do check the link for future showings on the Sundance Channel.

Plus (pardon the pun), I got a lovely write-up from the amazing Curvy Fashionista, whose blog is NECESSARY for those of us who want to be, in her words: Curvy. Confident.Chic.

http://thecurvyfashionista.mariedenee.com/2010/02/the-plus-size-insider-blogging-from-inside-the-tents-at-new-york-fashion-week/

Thank you, Marie!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Interview With Red Carpet Photographer Frazer Harrison

DAHLINGS –

All of this talk of the Emmy red carpet has me remembering my interview last week at New York Fashion Week with photographer Frazer Harrison.

Frazer Harrison is a ruggedly handsome, outspoken Englishman, based in Los Angeles as an entertainment photographer for Getty Images. You’ve seen his work in magazines, the Internet, anywhere there’s a celebrity event. When looking at magazine photos of the red carpet, be it the Academy Awards, the Emmys or even the VMAs, you’re apt to see Harrison’s photographs of Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Charlize Theron, even Paris Hilton. (But that’s hardly Harrison’s fault.)

(Frazer Harrison)

We met inside the cavernous lobby of Mercedez Benz Fashion Week, and settled down on the huge stone fountain for a quiet conversation. The talk ranged from fashion to Hollywood to the difference between photojournalism and paparazzi.

(Photo: Elisa DeCarlo)

Since his bailiwick is the red carpet, Harrison admitted that the runway media pits are not his favorite places to be.

(Isaac Mizrahi/Photo: Frazer Harrison)

We started with casual conversation about the shows. Asked which fashion shows he thought were the worst, he immediately answered, “Daviddelfin. And Duckie Brown. Those shorts looked like diapers. I looked at those shorts, and I wondered, where’s the colostomy bag?”

We were joined by his publicist. The talk turned from New York fashion to Hollywood. Harrison much prefers the red carpet, and has spent years honing his ability to get the perfect picture. There’s a generic Young Hollywood pose, hand on hip, one foot forward. Harrison wished some of the female stars would leave their hands at their sides for a more interesting picture. He urged those who would wish to walk the red carpet to “practice the pose that works for you, however you like it.”

“A very small number of actors and actresses know how to work the red carpet,” Harrison observed. “Most of them have no idea how to pose. They jump up and down; they don’t know where to look. To know how to work the red carpet, you look straight, you don’t react to the shouting.”

Then how to get that certain celebrity to look into your camera when you’re surrounded by screaming colleagues? “You’ve got to have a trademark,” he said. “I yell ‘Over to the English guy!’ or, if it’s a big star like Drew Barrymore, ‘I’ll make you famous’!” He laughed. “That’s a line from a movie.”

(Amy Poehler at the Emmys/Photo: Frazer Harrison)

What is his biggest red carpet peeve?

“Celebrities don’t need to be led down the red carpet on a leash, by their publicists” he replied.

“It has to be done,” his publicist interrupts. “They spend too long—“

“Leave them alone,” Harrison responds. Harrison felt that the biggest problem with today’s red carpet is that there is not enough real celebrity. (Your faithful correspondent heartily concurs. ) “It’s been taken over by reality television stars,” he said, noting that few of them have the genuine charisma of real celebrities.

And digital photography has made photographers lazier, he stated. “You used to wait with your camera for that perfect shot,” he said, lifting his camera and carefully pretending to aim it at a moving celebrity. “Then you get that perfect shot. Nowadays, it’s just—“Harrison swings the camera, making a rat-a-tat noise. “You get hundreds of pictures.”

As a longtime professional photojournalist, Harrison gets most exercised when compared to the paparazzi. “None of us like to be called paparazzi. They’re scumbags. Photojournalists capture moments. What are remembered on the red carpet are the real moments, like Clark Gable hugging Marilyn Monroe. I call those action shots, or war pictures."

(Kathy Griffin at the Emmys/Photo: Frazer Harrison)

"When the history of Hollywood is written, those are the pictures that will be used. The line is slim [between photojournalists and paparazzi], because we’re both taking candid shots.”

However, he chuckles as he remembers an encounter with Liz Hurley during the Hugh Grant scandal. Harrison was at the airport, trying to get his shot, when he backed into a concrete post and fell. Hurley looked down at him and said, “Serves you right, fucker.”

But, says Harrison, “You don’t judge a person in the moment.” Sometimes the celebrity is under stress, but then that same celebrity will be perfectly friendly at another time.

"Everybody has their own thing," he concluded. "You have to ask yourself, 'what's special about me'?"

Fortunately, when it comes to moi, I do not have to ask. But Frazer Harrison is definitely a special gentleman. He's never done a nude shoot, but seemed amenable to one at a future date. Be sure, I know how to strike a pose!

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Fashion Week: I'm in WWD for Upstaging Kathy Griffin!

DAHLINGS -

Your faithful correspondent has occasionally been trailed by the paparazzi, but nothing prepared me for the BARRAGE of flashbulbs when I entered the Isaac Mizrahi show! I know I looked divine, and perhaps the press was simply tired of photographing reality stars and socialites. And I managed to tick off Miss Kathy Griffin, as you can read in this article from Womens Wear Daily:
http://www.wwd.com/fashion-news/fashion-scoops/front-row-at-isaac-mizrahi-2296454?gnewsid=96cc6888862f317b7fe2926d5f43c089#/wwd

Do have a look. I have not seen any pictures of that event, but I'm sure they will be popping up soon.

And I have to take back my strong words about French documentary filmmakers. They found me on Thursday afternoon. I was interviewed at length for an upcoming Sundance Channel special on the Academy Awards red carpet...it seems that few people at Fashion Week were willing to actually express an opinion. You know moi, dahlings, I always express my opinions.

The Mizrahi show was beautiful, entertaining, and even quite funny at times. Quite a bit like your faithful correspondent. More later.

Here I am, approximately nine hours later, after the Tommy Hilfiger show.

For details of all of the fabulous outfits I wore during Fashion Week, with copious photos and information on where to buy them, please do take a look at http://diaryofamadfashionistafashionweek.blogspot.com/

You'll enjoy it immensely, I promise you!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The Oscars: Heidi Klum's Construction Paper Dress

DAHLINGS -

I'm having a very small gathering at my Central Park West aerie. Having the Oscars come on the heels of Fashion Week means that those of us who cover fashion are tending towards complete exhaustion. Much easier to have the cook make a spread of finger food and hire some bartenders than go out!

We are having a most enjoyable drinking game: having a drink every time an actress appears wearing a one-shoulder gown. But, if I had kept on after Marisa Tomei (in Versace), Nancy O'Dell and Heidi Klum, I would not be able to dictate this blog-thing.




Heidi is wearing what appears to be folded construction paper, by Roland Mouret.

(My assistant is still unreachable, the little idiot, so I had to force the chambermaid to do it. What is WRONG with the working class these days? Isn't it enough that they have JOBS? But I'm wandering off topic...must be the Moet Chandon combined with the bare shoulders.)

Tim Gunn kicked off the evening (network-wise) on the red carpet, gushing over Kate Winslet and her beautiful YSL shoes and gown. Everything about Kate is superlative, and my guests agree. Oh, dear, one shoulder, time for another glass of champagne!



For once Amy Adams is wearing color! A striking Carolina Herrera gown. However, referring to her necklace, my male companion just remarked, "I don't know if I like it or I want to eat it." (I think he meant that it looked like hard candy.)

Queen Latifah looked magnificent in Georges Shakra, with Swarovski crystal trim.

Oh, it's one shoulder, I must resist or I will never get through tonight...

Sarah Jessica Parker arrived with her rather queasy-looking husband, Matthew Broderick, wearing what appeared to be brand-new breasts and a rather beat-up old vintage prom dress with a large crinoline:


She claims it is Dior Haute Couture, but I refuse to believe it.

Hugh Jackman's "low-budget" opening number was hilarious, and he is one yummy hunk of man (no, you little fool, don't put that in! My male companion doesn't like it!).

A new protocol is being introduced with Best Supporting Actress: a past winner came out for each nominee, including Goldie Hawn (who has apparently visited the same surgeon who gave Marisa Tomei and Sarah Jessica Parker their new breasts). Be grateful you cannot see this in close-up. The contrast between the brand new bosom and the neck and chin above it is jarring, to say the least. Perhaps Goldie should grow a beard. And why couldn't she spend a little time getting a dress that fit?

Tilda Swinton is wearing a brown paper bag over a knotted front black skirt. Ack. Penelope Cruz (in vintage Balmain) is the winner; I still maintain the woman has a face like a foot. Whoopi Goldberg is wearing a leopard-print shower curtain. One supposes she was in a rush.

OH MY GOD--THE CHEF TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE MUSICAL NUMBER TO TRY TO SNEAK SOME COSTCO PUFF PASTRIES ONTO THE BUFFET! Je dois prendre soin de ce à la fois!