The Oscar's Best Dressed 2009!

DAHLINGS -

Naturally by now I've seen all of the other Best and Worst Dressed lists, and I refuse to be swayed by the opinions of others. Here is your faithful correspondent's list of Oscar's Best Dressed, as the common folk like to phrase it.

TINA FEY

She may not be a movie star (yet), but this young woman led the pack by a mile in a classic retro-styled silver glamour gown that fit perfectly and reminded one of a brunette Carole Lombard. Brava, diva! Please let me know who made this dress!

QUEEN LATIFAH

As I wrote earlier, the Queen ruled in deep, rich blue crystal-trimmed Georges Chakra.

JENNIFER ANISTON

She confounded the Brangelina crowd by appearing healthy and happy in Valentino Couture, accompanied by companion Josh Mayer (who had made a side-splitting appearance on the final Conan O'Brian programme).

Take that, tabloids!

VIOLA DAVIS

I am astonished that Reem Acra could actually make such a stunning dress for a curvaceous actress. Dazzling, glamorous, MOVIE STAR!

MERYL STREEP

An actress in the prime of life in a perfectly draped matte gray dress by Ferretti. Good taste personified.

MELISSA LEO

This may seem like an unusual choice, but as with the Worst Dressed, in a sea of safety, she chose to dress with individuality. In this case, it worked. Melissa's copper-colored dropwaist gown complimented both her hair and skin.

(Note: the night before, she won the Independent Spirit Award in a lovely flowing gown--but then, almost everyone looked far better at the Independent Spirit Awards.)

It may seem like a short list, but your faithful correspondent feels that she has made her opinions known in previous posts (and to be honest, menswear does not interest me in the least).

Off for a long, hot scented bath. I do worry that after these critiques, my dear friend Sarah Jessica Parker will cease making me her special secret scented soap! But one must be true to oneself, ne c'est pas?

Speaking of which, for another excellently unbiased look at what the red carpet had to offer to true tomatoes and cherry tomatoes, read The Three Tomatoes Red Carpet Review! http://www.thethreetomatoes.com/reviews.html.

I'm certain Sarah Jessica Parker won't be making special scented soap for them, but it did make me laugh!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The Oscar's Worst Dressed 2009

DAHLINGS -

Last night, while we were watching the Academy Awards red carpet coverage, it seemed that a swarm of skinny women in white, cream or gray dresses were wondering around. When the female announcer said "Every woman looks gorgeous," my male companion added, "And the same." Yes, it may be true that fashion inspiration is as dead as a doornail when it comes to award ceremonies (most of the actresses looked like Movie Star In A Box, in your favorite choice of colors: Natalie Portman in pink, Angelina Jolie in black, blah, blah, blah) as least these brave women dared to crash and burn.


Oscar's Worst Dressed can be broken down into categories. The first is

Night Of The Living Dead

Exemplified by fleshless cadaverous actresses, preferably with no color in their faces. Anne Hathaway, despite her talent, leads the pack for this honor, in Armani Prive:


Anne, unless your next role is a Holocaust victim, eat a croissant! I'm certain you haven't had a period in two years!

Evan Rachel Wood is a close second in Elie Saab--when will the woman get a clue and wear some COLOR?




I have no idea who this young woman is, but she fits right in, terrifyingly enough:



One shoulder--time for a glass of--oh, damn, that was last night. How does this girl have the strength to stand?

And of course, Nicole Kidman, who looks understandably peeved about the foliage sprouting around her decolletage:



To finish this category (sorry, the phrase "round out" does not fit), Melissa George:

Lesson, children: One should never wear a dress that makes one look like a pencil stuck in a toilet tissue.

Our next category is

No Taste Whatsoever

Which some actresses go in and out of at whim. My top candidate is Miley Cyrus, whose gown is virtually beyond my descriptive powers. My first thought was that she looked like she was trying to escape from a giant tropical plant trying to devour her, but really, the petal edges look more like mold. TOO MUCH DRESS!





Tilda Swinton marches to a different drummer, in this case Lanvin, right off the cliff:



GACK.


Sophia Loren is a goddess...or used to be. Sophia, Sophia, what happened? Why are you wearing a too-fussy ruffled gown that is the same color as your spray-on tan and your hair?? That gown looks right out of a bad Western movie, with you playing the madame of a bordello. (In fact, back in the 1960s they often had Italian women playing parts like that in Westerns--it was an odd phase. Could it be that Sophia is feeling nostalgia for Sergio Leone?)



And it is a major mistake to stand next to the elegant Meryl Streep, in beautifully draped gray gown and tastefully bared shoulders.





The final category might as well be called

FOLIE AU DRESS

Many of them have already been shown in my previous posts, but a few got under the wire. First we have the widely-reviled Jessica Biel, who could gave escaped a great deal of grief by running some oatmeal through her hair prior to leaving the mansion. The strange cloth contraption on the front of her gown looks as though she might be carrying a spare set of breasts. Or perhaps to put some hors de'oevres in to munch on during the endless broadcast.

Is it moi, or has Beyonce been wearing the same dress to every event for the past two years? Only the colors and the textures change. Really, the photographers don't have to bother with live snaps anymore. You could take a photo of Beyonce and run it through Photoshop, changing the colors to whatever occasion she shows up for.

Unlike others, your faithful correspondent does not believe this is a bad dress. It's just the same dress.

Oh, well, at least it wasn't white.

While there is something to be said for a woman her age being able to wear this dress at all, and at least she didn't look insane for a change, Sharon Stone might want wanted to think twice before baring everything:

Lovely nipples, Sharon, but one could have done without knowing exactly what they look like. Was the sex shop out of pasties?

That is it for now. Stay tuned for my Best Dressed!

Ciao, Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The Oscars Drone On...Does Anyone Still Think Heath Ledger Won't Win?

DAHLINGS -

While I was upbraiding the chef, Jerry Lewis received the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award and according to one of my guests, "nearly lost it." Now they are doing the Dead People part. How that accursed chef could think I wouldn't spot pigs in blankets is beyond me...

To nobody's surprise, Heath Ledger won Best Supporting Actor. Yawn. Yes, I know he's dead, but that movie was simply too unnerving, and I thought that Dennis Hopper was just as good in "Speed". But then, I am quite used to being in the minority.

Also to nobody's surprise, "Slumdog Millionaire" is sweeping the other awards, all of those funny ones that I don't pay attention to. Most of my guests (and my male companion) are extremely drunk and hoping that Mickey Rourke wins Best Actor. I feel so terrible that he lost his beloved dog! (I think that explains his choice of wardrobe--out of his mind with grief.)


Only a true animal lover can understand his pain, right, Bucky? And no, you can't have a chocolate cupcake, I can't have you making sick on the Aubusson.

Oh my God, what IS Reese Witherspoon wearing? And that eye makeup? Is she playing the cobalt version of Vampira? Oh, dear, someone gave their stylist the night off!



With that nightmarish vision in my head, I bid you all good night.

Oh, wait--how beautiful Kate Winslet looks crying onstage! Of course, she looks beautiful doing anything.

Mon Dieu!

Sean Penn won for "Milk"! Hooray! I am sorry for Mickey Rourke, but what a magnificent speech Sean gave. The perfect antidote to Reese Witherspoon.

I am going off to bed. Tomorrow I will give you my Best and Worst Dressed.


Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The Oscars: Heidi Klum's Construction Paper Dress

DAHLINGS -

I'm having a very small gathering at my Central Park West aerie. Having the Oscars come on the heels of Fashion Week means that those of us who cover fashion are tending towards complete exhaustion. Much easier to have the cook make a spread of finger food and hire some bartenders than go out!

We are having a most enjoyable drinking game: having a drink every time an actress appears wearing a one-shoulder gown. But, if I had kept on after Marisa Tomei (in Versace), Nancy O'Dell and Heidi Klum, I would not be able to dictate this blog-thing.




Heidi is wearing what appears to be folded construction paper, by Roland Mouret.

(My assistant is still unreachable, the little idiot, so I had to force the chambermaid to do it. What is WRONG with the working class these days? Isn't it enough that they have JOBS? But I'm wandering off topic...must be the Moet Chandon combined with the bare shoulders.)

Tim Gunn kicked off the evening (network-wise) on the red carpet, gushing over Kate Winslet and her beautiful YSL shoes and gown. Everything about Kate is superlative, and my guests agree. Oh, dear, one shoulder, time for another glass of champagne!



For once Amy Adams is wearing color! A striking Carolina Herrera gown. However, referring to her necklace, my male companion just remarked, "I don't know if I like it or I want to eat it." (I think he meant that it looked like hard candy.)

Queen Latifah looked magnificent in Georges Shakra, with Swarovski crystal trim.

Oh, it's one shoulder, I must resist or I will never get through tonight...

Sarah Jessica Parker arrived with her rather queasy-looking husband, Matthew Broderick, wearing what appeared to be brand-new breasts and a rather beat-up old vintage prom dress with a large crinoline:


She claims it is Dior Haute Couture, but I refuse to believe it.

Hugh Jackman's "low-budget" opening number was hilarious, and he is one yummy hunk of man (no, you little fool, don't put that in! My male companion doesn't like it!).

A new protocol is being introduced with Best Supporting Actress: a past winner came out for each nominee, including Goldie Hawn (who has apparently visited the same surgeon who gave Marisa Tomei and Sarah Jessica Parker their new breasts). Be grateful you cannot see this in close-up. The contrast between the brand new bosom and the neck and chin above it is jarring, to say the least. Perhaps Goldie should grow a beard. And why couldn't she spend a little time getting a dress that fit?

Tilda Swinton is wearing a brown paper bag over a knotted front black skirt. Ack. Penelope Cruz (in vintage Balmain) is the winner; I still maintain the woman has a face like a foot. Whoopi Goldberg is wearing a leopard-print shower curtain. One supposes she was in a rush.

OH MY GOD--THE CHEF TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE MUSICAL NUMBER TO TRY TO SNEAK SOME COSTCO PUFF PASTRIES ONTO THE BUFFET! Je dois prendre soin de ce à la fois!

Fashion Week 2009: Fashion Week After Party With Korto Momolu!

DAHLINGS -

The week came to a perfect end at Nikki Beach, where The MacDella Cooper Foundation was holding a star-studded Fashion Week After Party, a fundraiser to raise funds for the MCF Academy for Orphans and Abandoned Children in Liberia, set to open next year. First there was a VIP cocktail hour, where I met a number of fascinating guests. Then it was time to take our seats, some of us at the VIP tables (including moi, of course). Veuve Cliquot and sushi was served, and I felt quite relieved that I had decided at the last minute to leave Bucky at home. He tends to get very noisy around sushi.
(All photos by Elisa DeCarlo)

The chair opposite me sat empty until a young model, Rachel, asked to join me, since I had a clear view of the stage and her table did not. I was more than happy to oblige.
I do wish I had gotten a full-face shot; she was beautiful and extremely intelligent, a rare combination in models.

After opening remarks by Jones New York CEO Susan Metzger (glam in black lace) and the gorgeous Miss MacDella Cooper herself, there was an unveiling of the plan by movie-star attractive architect Winka Dubbledam, shown here with a handsome young man whose name I never quite caught. I think it was Mark, and he had something to do with MSN.


Here is this handsome young man with two of the other sponsors. The young lady is Ashly Priest of Victoria's Secret. I do wish I'd thought to take notes!


The only awkward moment during the presentation was when the pull down screen decided to CRASH onto the stage in front of the various dignitaries. Fortunately for all involved, it hit a table full of glassware but no one was hurt.

(To be honest, for your faithful correspondent, it was one of the high points of the evening--I have never been one for long speeches, no matter what the cause.)

Once the mess was cleaned up and the presentations done, came what we were all really there for: the fashion show by “Project Runway’s” Korto Momolu (and unlike the unfortunates in Bryant Park on Friday morning, we knew her name!).

My poor camera was not up to capturing the fashions, but trust me on this, loyal readers, they were truly magnificent. The models were lifted onto a wooden platform that ran the length of the room.






Korto is originally from Liberia, and her African-inspired fashions were the perfect touch. She came out at the end in a beautiful sequin-trimmed knit dress that showed off her gorgeous body, shyly acknowledging the screaming applause by hiding behind one of her models!



So once again, I have survived Fashion Week, more or less. And tonight it is the Academy Awards. Oh, my GOD! Is there no justice? No justice at all??

Ciao,
Elisa sans Bucky the Wonderdog

Fashion Week 2009 Wrap Up Part One: Cathy Horyn Calls It!

DAHLINGS –

Fashion Week is over at last.

I am having to write this blog-thing myself. I cannot reach my assistant, damn the woman. I’ve had no rest at all, I tell you, no rest at all, and neither has Bucky.

In a rare moment of confession, I have to tell you that Cathy Horyn’s article in The New York Times yesterday (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/21/fashion/21REVIEW.html?_r=1) sums up much of my thoughts. I was not allowed into Marc Jacob’s collection, I shall not lie to you. Your high opinion of me means too much.

Your faithful correspondent enjoyed Ralph Lauren’s collection more than Ms. Horyn, but I am a bit more of a traditionalist than that fine critic.
(All photos by Marcio Madeira)


Note that this one example of the Omnipresent Silhouette (above) is covered by a gorgeous coat!




And yes, Francisco Costa of Calvin Klein knocked it out of the park for yours truly. Cathy and I are in agreement. Creativity and elegance, my favorite combination.


Although even the great Mr. Costa could not resist the lure of the Silhouette...I was asked repeatedly what it means: youth, hope, optimism? To tell the truth, mon cher lectuers, I have not the foggiest idea. But that's fashion. Silhouettes happen.

More later,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Fashion Week 2009: Off The Beaten Track With 7 On Seventh

(This is Mademoiselle’s assistant—I caught hell for writing about putting a tack in her boot. Jeez Louise, I’ve gotta watch what I write when I’m this tired. At least Fashion Week’s over, she’s snoring away in the other room, and I’m playing catch-up with all of her notes. Tomorrow I’m sneaking home and turning off my phone, Blackberry, and computer, before she drives me BATTY!)

DAHLINGS –

On Tuesday, I decided to go off the beaten track, weary of the endless milling and waiting at Bryant Park.

(photo by Marcio Madeira)

I simply had to duck out of the Diesel Black Gold Show (ugh), and travel all the way over to Seven On Seventh, a fashion show of up and coming African-American designers.

Dahlings, what a treat! The first designer was Mad Couture (Madilyn Wade), a “full figure” designer who makes MAGNIFICENT clothes, and quite daring! For instance, this cotton/Lycra black and white print dress, and on the right, a frock with a re-embroidered sheer lace top and a neoprene skirt, "mermaid" style.

One could imagine wearing the one on the right over a bright pink demi bra to great effect (or nothing, if one is inclined that way and one’s breasts are high enough).

This dress had quite a surprise in the back!


And the models! All shapes and sizes, most of them plus, walking with sensual pride in their bodies. For the boudoir, this beauty in stretch lace with black leaf trim.


At the end, Madilyn Wade came out with some of her models in more daring creations:

(Photos by Wayne Summerlin)

This is a woman after my own heart, mon cher lecteur. Madilyn’s dresses are très chaud, graceful, and beautifully made.

The next designer was Joy Lee of Ayo Lee Couture. The show began with a sensational drag queen dressed as Lena Horne lip-syncing to “Stormy Weather.” (I confessed, I eyed her shoes enviously.)


The designer showed a mix of fabrics, including an evening dress made of white upholstery fabric shot through with gold thread, and a marvelous denim jacket over a wool tweed skirt with a red selvage hem. My apologies for the photos, dahlings.


There was also a green tweed dress with a huge gold collar and back pleats that caught my eye, and a leather top with deliberately unfinished edges paired with a flowing denim skirt. When the lovely young designer herself appeared (in the center in the last photo), she was garbed in a lavender dress, also made of upholstery fabric.


It was clear that this was a young woman who designs for women with real bodies, which was SO refreshing after seeing all of the hideously gaunt models under the tents at Bryant Park.

At the other end of the room were several captivating women, whom I could not help approaching between shows. Not shown is Dolores, a banker who works with the fashion industry, but from left they are Michelle, Jinji, a model/actress/lifestylist, and Ria Kimber, a producer.


Unfortunately, before the next show began, I had to dash for a date for cocktails with a gentleman friend. Would this week EVER END, I ask you??

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog
(All photos by Elisa DeCarlo)

Fashion Week Fall 2009: The Omnipresent Silhouette

DAHLINGS,

Is it moi, or was the Herve’ Leger by Max Azria show on Sunday as dull as calculus class on a rainy fall afternoon? One could almost feel the dank closeness of the wet classroom, the eyes slowly closing as one fights to keep awake over the unreadable textbook. A parade of dreary bandage dresses made their way down the runway (although starlets January Jones and her ilk seemed to love them). For once, the models’ forlorn expressions matched the clothes beautifully. And of course, there was the Silhouette:


Photo by Marceil Madiera

On the other hand, Diane Von Furstenberg’s “Nomad” collection was a sumptuous parade of textures and colors. The tent was absolutely packed with celebrities and fashion glitterati, including Diana Ross, who the press insists on calling “ageless.” I prefer “drinks the blood of young male virgins at the full moon." Really, what is going on with that woman? Note the expression on the face of her seatmate. Surely she wonders too.


Photo by Greg Kessler

However, her music on the soundtrack was a wonderful choice. My idol, Anna Wintour, was there, next to a gentleman whose hand looked like he’d gotten the worst of a battle with Bucky, my miniature pinscher.

Photo by Greg Kessler

But I swear, we were on the other side of the aisle! Bucky was nestled in his favorite oversized Dooney & Burke carrier, which matched my DVF ensemble perfectly. Other than some startled barking when Charlie Rose bumped against his carrier (what was Charlie Rose doing there?), my little darling behaved himself perfectly.

Back to the clothes—your faithful correspondent does not know which she enjoyed more, the variety, the lack of The Omnipresent Silhouette (although the first one comes very close), or the comparative sprightliness of the models. Although their utter lack of thigh flesh continues to distress me.
(All photos by Marcel Madeira)





This dress was my absolute favorite, of course; what can I say, I’m a fool for satin.



It was the only show that one attended that did not somehow have a whisper of fear around it...the economy is quite definitely changing the tone of Fashion Week, and it is not for the better. Oh, dear, that is a Deep Thought, and those always give me headaches. I shall have to stop here for the nonce, and go leaf through Details magazine.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog